Day 155

February 5, 2010

Did you read my post below my pictures? The pictures were not my post for the day. The post below is the one for yesterday! Some didn't realize this, so I just want to tell you to read the post following all of the fun photos! The M&M things is cool, huh? It's really fun! First of all, the M&M Store is two or three stories tall, full of fun, color, entertainment, etc. It's right in Times Square! This machine is in the middle of the room, on the second floor. You step onto the simulated foot pedals and it starts talking to you. It made me do the hokey pokey before it read my color! ;) It was fun! They have every color M&M you could think of!!! And the christmas tree...forget about it! Pictures don't do it justice! It's beautiful!! Not to mention, the lights are as big as my head! 

Side note: As I was looking at M&M's website, I saw that you can personalize M&Ms for Valentine's Day! How cute is this?? I recommend this over flowers, or a box of chocolate, or a store bought card! Any one can buy those things! You can put your guys' favorite quotes you always say to each other on there! Check it out! Ugh...if I only had someone to get this stuff for me. Or, if I had someone to buy them for...that would appreciate them! They're a bit expensive, but totally worth it--so much fun! 

What's the first thing you think about in the morning? It varies from day to day, I'm guessing. Well, this morning, my first thought was: whoever made the alarm clock is a genius! Weird, I know. My following thought: I do NOT want to get out of bed yet! If it wasn't for my alarm clock, I would have probably not woke up today. I actually need to invest in a real alarm clock and not rely on my phone. 

Speaking of my phone. Lately, I feel like all I do is yell at the stupid thing! I'm walking down the street, holding the phone out in front of my face,yelling at it! I don't get missed calls, nor do I sometimes not receive text messages. The best is when I'm talking to someone on the phone and it hangs up on me. Nice. My advice, ONCE again: never get AT&T! They just suck something awful! 

My sweet tooth got the best of me again today! First of all, lately I've been craving a cheeseburger and fries! So, for lunch I get one! BUT! I get a turkey burger, to be a bit more healthier! Nice, huh?! ;) Yes, I did get fries, which didn't help, but I figured the turkey made up for it a little bit! Then on the way home, I stop by The Little Pie Company to get the best red velvet cupcake ever! Mmm...it's so good!!!! It's right up the street from my apartment! They have the best stuff! 

I think I'm officially dubbing Friday as dance party night! Tonight, it's kind of a mom, dance party night for me. I'm by myself, deep-cleaning my apartment, and dancing to early 2000's songs! ;)The rest of the weekend is going to be busy, so one night in will do me some good! 

Have you heard of Ibiza? If not, apparently it's a great "hot spot." I feel like I've been hearing about it all the time lately! It looks like a blast! Check out their website!  

Fashion Week's coming up! Next week starts clothing mayhem! I'm debating on whether I want to stand outside again and see more movie stars. I really want to, but it's so cold outside! Which, by the way, I guess we're suppose to be getting snow. They said it was going to start today...nothing yet. I even wore my rain boots to work today, just in case! Watch...it will snow like a mother tomorrow, since I will be outside, walking around. Damn. 

The rest of my evening is going to be spent in my bed, watching a movie, and hopefully getting to bed at a decent time. I just thought about this. My Friday nights are like most people's Tuesday or Wednesday nights. Nice and quiet, with not a whole lot going on. Maybe a Monday, or something. My week's always crazy, so Friday is a night relaxer day! 

Note to self: Watch "The Hangover." I know everyone who's awesome has seen it, but watch it again! It's one of the funniest movies I've ever seen. My neighbor e-mailed me tonight and told me they were watching it. So, I decided to YouTube some of my favorite scenes in the movie! Enjoy! ;)

Video One

Video Two

Video Three

Video Four

Video Five- This one's a combo!

Day 141 - Day 142

January 22, 2010 - January 23, 2010

The weekend, thus far, has been a rather relaxing one. Scheduling with friends this week doesn't make it possible to go out! So, Friday, I sleep in, considering my lack of sleep the nights before. It's quite nice! I pretty much just lie around all day and do nothing. It's nice. I was thinking though. A while back, I walk into my apartment, which is unlocked (weird)...I think I may have told you this already, and there was a note on my kitchen counter from my apartment building. They came in to check the smoke detector, or something. Well, when I sleep, all I sleep in is my underwear and that's all I wore Friday, while lounging. How awful would that have been if they walked in?? I bet they wouldn't expect a semi-naked woman walking around! Good morning to you! ;)

I can't be lazy all day, so I decide to go to the New York Public Library. Along the way, I get attacked by a pigeon! I hate those things! It flew right to my face! I feel like a moron because I'm tucking and rolling away from a damn bird in the middle of Times Square, saying, "Shit!" in front of tons of people! Anyways...can I just tell you the library is like a museum?! It's HUGE! The inside is gorgeous--marble, pillars, inscriptions, and books galore! So amazing! I get lost! It's a ton of fun! Then, I go home. I'm not really in the mood for exploration.

I have a bit of a melt down today. I'm just really frustrated with the job market right now. (Go figure, right?) I am absolutely loving my internship, but I can't do it forever. And with Meredith laying off 50 people, I'm not really banking on full-time work anytime soon. It's understandable. So, I'm on the hunt again. It sucks! I'm talking to my grandma and have tears rolling down my cheeks. Not many because I'm trying to hold it in as I walk down the street.

I wake up rather early Saturday morning. I get some things accomplished for Maddie's wedding, then I get ready for work. I stop on my way and get a Diet Mountain Dew. I know I've told you this before, but me and caffeine do not mix well. I brought a book to read, but was bouncing off the walls too much to sit still and read it! I pace. I get nervous. My body gets jittery. Not good. These are the signs of someone on cocaine...can you even imagine? I've NEVER EVER done this, nor will I EVER, but I would probably run two marathons in one day if I did! To curb my caffeine kick, I dance to "Roxanne" in the kitchen! Haha! The staff got dinner AND a show! Can't beat that! ;)

Work's fun tonight! I was having NFL player withdrawals, so it's nice to see the guys again! Not that they hold conversations with me, but "Hi" is good enough! ;) You're never going to believe what happened on the walk home! I'm talking to my grandma on the phone, I pass the fire station and guess what? There he is! All 6'8" of manliness staring right at me! God! This would happen while talking to the old lady! ;) And I'm having a really, really good hair day! I can't say, Oh, gotta go!, then hang up! That's way too obvious! I didn't have plans tonight, so it would have been fun to hang out there! I would have a hay-day sliding down the pole all night long! I've come to the decision, I'm going to start a fire in my apartment! I'll be the damsel in distress! ;) It's too perfect!

Also, on my walk home, I pass through Times Square, as usual, and come across a group of black men, dressed as King Arthur, preaching. I stop to see what's going on. They are protesting gay people, calling some of the men standing there, "homos." I don't like that word. It's not nice. They say it's against the Bible, whan, whan, whan! They're saying things like "men having sex with other men from behind is ridiculous." No, sir. You're King Henry lookin', knight in shining armor, get up is ridiculous! Then they say, "your face is a costume." Even better, "Your dad is a costume!" Hahahaha! Really? That's not even a good joke for a second grader! Idiot.

THEN he says, "you white people are the racist ones!" Okay! Now, I walk away. I'm pretty outspoken against people like this and I can't even deal with such ignorance! Excuse me, but with you and your "boys" parading down the streets of Times Square, acting and screaming the way you are, isn't being racist? I beg to differ. Every type of race has racism. Don't you dare going around, preaching like you are his all-mighty holy one, because as far as I'm concerned Sir Lancelot, God doesn't judge. You're judging. Are you perfect? Far from it! If you really knew the Bible, you would know God accepts all people--even your poor excuse of a man.

Note to self: When you realize you're not the big city girl you hoped and thought you were, what do you do now? It's a note to self I've been dealing with for the last couple of months. I absolutely love New York City, but deep down, it's not for me. I've been trying my hardest to make myself feel the passion for it I had before I moved here. I'm having a blast and have met so many great people, I can't even begin to explain it to you. But I like neighbors. I like hospitality. I like the homey feeling of places. It's not homey here. It's a great city, but very cold. I miss the Midwest values. You have no idea how nice it was to go home and get those values from everyone. To go on a date with someone and not have their intention be to sleep with you at the end of the night.

I don't want to move back to Iowa, but somewhere like Iowa, only warm all the time! I'm still looking for jobs in the city, but have also expanded my search to Florida, Texas, and Georgia. Even though I'm focusing on the bigger cities in these states, you still get the sense of family, friends, and home. It's just a bummer when you want something like this to work out so bad, but your heart just isn't in it. It makes me so sad, but I also need to focus on my future. I want to wake up to palm trees everyday, the smell of the ocean, and warm weather! I want to be a beach mom someday! (Not anytime soon!) I want a boat! Although things never work out like you think they will, this is the life I ultimately want for myself!

You know how they say, everything happens for a reason? I totally agree with this statement. I just want to know the reason as to why I can't find anything right now. Things didn't work out last summer because I was meant to move here. Things didn't work out with the hundreds of jobs I applied to while here because I was meant to work at Better Homes & Gardens. I want to know the reason for what's going on now! There's something coming up in my future, but what is it? I know you have to be patient, but that word really isn't in my vocabulary. I suppose I'll find out--let's just hope it's sooner than later!

Day 126

January, 7 2010

I wake up this morning, still not feeling well. But I think to myself, I need to have the fresh attitude and outlook on the city, as if I just moved here all over again. I feel like I've started taking the cities little quirks for granted. Things I once found funny, are just now normal. It's not normal a lady pulls out her rather large, professional-looking camera and takes two pictures of me, while I'm walking to work today. Yes...this really did happen. I didn't know whether or not to be like Madonna and "Vogue," or keep walking. Considering I am quite stunned at the fact she would do this and the flash blinded me ever-so-slightly, I continue walking. Why does she want my picture?? I do have a rather cute outfit on today...I bet this is why! ;)

But in all seriousness...I tell myself this morning, no cell phone usage and no iPod usage on the way to work this morning. You are going to pay attention to your surroundings and actually take in all that is going on around you. One problem: there is NOTHING going on around me. Normal people walking to work. I guess all of the weirdos hide out on Thursday mornings. I'm tired of seeing men in suits (okay...maybe not) ;), and women in suits, and people walking their dogs. Whan! Whan! Give me something exciting to jump start my morning!

I only last a block and a half, then I whip out the phone. I don't really have a lot to say or converse about, but it fills my time and I get to catch up with my poor mother who is house-ridden, due to the God-awful snow and weather in Iowa. I get bored so easily with nothing to listen to! I always get irritated with myself about my impatience, but it's something I just can't help. I love talking! I love music! And I love being around people! I have been blessed with the gift of gab! And those of you who know me are probably shaking your heads up and down right now! ;)

So, the last few days I've had a really nervous stomach. I don't know why. But I will tell you, every time in my past, no matter if it was second grade, high school, or college...whenever I get a nervous stomach, something always happens a short time later. I have nothing to be nervous about. Maybe I'm just being paranoid...but we'll see! It could be all of the coffee I've been drinking. My name is Ashley and I'm an addict. =)

I have three cups of coffee today. It's getting bad. Caffeine is like alcohol to me. I get the urge to dance, I think everything is comical, and I get really friendly! It's great! No hangover! Problem is, when I'm sitting in my cube, all by myself, the only thing I can laugh at is me. So, as I'm perusing on the computer for beauty products, random ideas and thoughts pop in my head, and I start laughing out loud to myself. Probably to things that are not in the least bit funny. For example...I'm looking up makeup websites. Literally, after two hours of researching, a site pops up on Google...www.makeup.com. I say out loud, "Hmm...makeup.com. (I shrug ever so slightly) Who would have thought?" Then, I start laughing at the fact of how I can be so dumb that this is not the first thing I thought of. AND, it takes me two hours to discover it! Dummy!

I'm walking home and I always walk down 42nd St. until I reach 8th Avenue. You know the Conde Nast building that was on the news for having a white van sitting in front of it...potentially a bomb? Yeah...I walk by there everyday. Comforting, right? =) I know no one else finds this funny but me. But anyways...right down the street is the heart of Times Square. To the left, there is a large train station. It is CLEAR that's what it is. Look at this picture, here. So, I'm walking and I hear this girl say, "Oh my God! Like, I totally thought that was a Subway restaurant. I mean, who wouldn't think that? With like, all of the eating places around here." Ha! You big dummy! What part of this picture makes you think of footlong sandwiches? Maybe it's just me. ;)

I'm almost done with Eclipse. It's the third book in the Twilight series. It doesn't help I'm a hopeless romantic. Jacob is so great and Edward is even better! They both love the same girl and both are fighting their hardest to get/keep her! Must be nice! To know a guy will do everything in his power to never let you go. Ahhh...that's the life! ;)

My friend, Shelby, calls me tonight. We're talking about relationships and how our friends have been getting married and are getting ready to be married. I say, "One day, a man is going to walk through the doors and be the man of my dreams!" She replies with, "Yes, he's going to be the heir to the Hostess Cupcake throne!" LOL! What?! That's so funny! Of all thrones, I get the HoHo God! Too funny! We then start talking about a college reunion in the next 3-5 years. I find this place today on Vogue.com. Check it out, here! It's in Jackson Hole, Wyoming--in the Grand Teton Mountains. It sounds a little odd, but it looks so beautiful! They have cabins overlooking the mountains, hiking, float trips, etc. What a perfect way to spend with great friends!! Nice and relaxing, but full of crazy potential!

Note to self: Go home, don't turn on the television, and just read in quiet. Reading is such a great way to get your mind off of everything. You never have to really think while reading. You consume yourself with the fictional story so much, that the real world no longer exists for the two or so hours you spend hovered in your bed. It's nice to be in complete silence and not be bored. Weird, right? Considering a few short hours ago I was bouncing home, talking a hundred miles a minute on the phone, with my arms flailing all over the place!

Brett Visit: Day 4

I finally got to sleep in. I had big plans for the day since Ashley had to work. I was going to do a little shopping, the local stores for meaningless things, walk Times Square, go to the Air, Space and Sea Museum, and visit Central Park.

So I head out for my adventure, I'm all alone for the first time in such a big city. I was a little nervous but I was happier that I could walk at my speed. To start things off it was very cold and the bay winds made it bitter. So I start looking for the little stores for the local shoppers, and in Hell’s Kitchen, there are a ton of stores. NOT!! Not a single one! So I walked all of Hell’s Kitchen for no reason. I did get Ashley a nice wine opener and coffee filters. Next on the list, Time’s Square. I thought that in the day time, it would be less chaotic and I could embrace everything. Wrong. Still crazy. So I didn’t spend much time there, and it wasn’t as neat in the day time. Now I was going to go to Central Park. I didn’t know where I was going and a man stopped me and asked if I wanted to rent a bike for central park. Bingo! I seen he had a map and I said sign me up. I got the map and turned him down on the bike. So I get to the park which was about 20 blocks away. I walk through the park and it was beautiful. I was in awe the entire time. I walk by the amphitheater and I look at a couple on a bench and I pulled a triple take I noticed that they were getting after it. I could not believe my eyes. And people were just walking by like they see it everyday.  So I took my phone out and tried to pull a drive by picture but it didn’t work out. I knew no one would believe me so I tried to get some evidence.

I continue through the park and stop at the lake and it was breathtaking. When I walked through the park I seen so many beautiful sights that you usually only see in movies. The park is big and peaceful. I took the walk ways that cut through the secluded parts of the park and it was so serene. So I start my walk back to go home, and go figure, I get lost. This park is ginormous and I am lost. I try and take a shortcut through the woods…big mistake. I was in central park for an hour and it took me an hour and a half to get out. When I do get out I'm at E. 84^th and 5^th. Ashley lives at W. 43rd and 11^th. I hate my life at this point. I make it back and have a knish from a street vendor. Don’t get them, they’re awful. I took two bites and threw it away. So I get back and walk past the Little Pie Company. I felt I deserved a cupcake. It was the best Red Velvet cupcake I have ever tasted. After I ate that I took the best nap ever. I woke up and rested for a while. Then I took off for Times Square again. I did some window shopping and admired all of the lights while I waited for Ashley to get off work.

I went to meet Ashley after she got off, we headed for some street meat. You might think you show up, get your food, and walk on. This stand was voted best street meat in New York, and he had a line of about 7 people. I thought that was pretty cool. It was lamb meat in a bed of rice, lettuce and tomato, with pita bread on top. They give you Greek sauce and hot sauce with it also. It was incredible. The meat was tender and it tasted authentic. The hot sauce was so hot. I like hot things but this was almost too hot, and they only give you about a teaspoon of it no joke. For six dollars you get a huge platter that is really two meals. It was very cheap. We ate and took it easy since Ashley is running on no sleep and I walked like I was training for a marathon.

Day 51

October 27, 2009

Today proves to be a very successful day. I get my NFL tickets in the mail, I get a couple jobs, and I get to hang out with a friend from work. We go job hunting together--it makes it more fun! It is raining, so I'm thanking my dad for buying the mini-me umbrella when they were in town. Although I made fun of a 6'3", 250 pound man for carrying an umbrella fit for a munchkin, I am now gladly hovering it over my nicely curled hair.

As I'm walking, I receive my second marriage proposal while living in the city. That's right. I could be off the market right now, folks. I know what you're thinking. Who wouldn't want a raggedy man, in a pair of sweats, with snarly hair proposing to you in the middle of Times Square? It was tempting to turn down the, "Hey beautiful! Will you marry me?" But I had to do it. A girl needs options! ;) I prefer man number one who proposed and offered me a beach house in Florida! That's what I'm talking about! ;)

So, one thing I've come to find in this city--being a woman can get you a lot of places. I know this is true everywhere, but seems to be more prevalent here! My friend, who is a male, applied for the same positions as I did, but got turned down. One thing we both noticed--all the staffers were female. Sexist! But, I can't say I'm surprised. We go sit in Starbucks while we wait for our travels to the Upper West Side. Breakfast Tea is probably the best drink on a wet, rainy day! It's so relaxing!

Columbus Circle is so fun! It's full of shopping, fun bakeries, and quaint, trendy restaurants. And they have the best store of all time there, Bebe. It's my favorite! We then head back downtown, where after a short while, I say goodbye to my job hunting buddy and head home. I'm still trying to get over being sick. My ear has been muffled now for three days, so I cannot really hear when people are talking to me. I'm sure I look like I don't know what's going on in life because I just stand there like a deaf/mute. Problem: it is now settling in both ears. Perfect.

So, I'm taking up reading. A friend of mine loans me Twilight. Yes, I know. I think I'm the only one who has yet to read this dang book. But I feel like I need a new hobby and something to ease my mind from the 500 things running through it. I'm actually doing pretty good. I sometimes catch myself daydreaming, but all in all, I'm surprisingly keeping engaged. I think it's because the print is large, which makes the pages read quickly. It's nice for people with attention problems! ;) I just have to take a quick break to write my blog, then I actually want to go back reading. Who would have thought?!? ;) Me, a reader. I know, I'm still getting over the shock as well. Let's just hope I finish the book! If not, they leant me the movie!

Note to self: Having a broken toe sucks! It's not been confirmed, but when you stub it on a church pew at a friend's wedding in August and proceed to be a dance-aholic the rest of the evening, you might want to think twice. Then when you wake up and you show your wedding date how black-and-blue it is, you can probably confirm the fact. AND...since it still hurts every time you walk and it's always swollen, you can now be positive that's probably what happened. Too bad there's nothing to do to fix this problem. I could cast it! ;) Just kidding. But think of how cute it would look. ;)

Day 33

October 9, 2009

I want to be like HGTV today, so I decide it’s time to start hanging things on my walls. It looks great, but I’m not the best at measuring and placing. Let’s just say that I like to hang things on the walls, and if I don’t like where I put it, I take the nails out and start over. I think I may have put five too many holes in my walls. =) Oops!

I am getting quite a few take-out menus under my door the last few days. It’s wonderful! I think take-out is one of the best things ever invented. A while back, I am heading towards Central Park and along the way, I pick up every single take-out menu the restaurants have. Every ten seconds, my arm pops out and grabs a menu. I must look really hungry! Now, I have the best stash of take-out menus, so whatever you want, I have it for you!

For work, I have to run to Office Depot and pick up some bubble wrap. Not a big deal, until I get there and see that it only comes in a huge box! Man! I have to carry that thing all the way through Times Square! I already look dumb sporting Planet Hollywood gear all over my body, now I’m bumping into everyone and their mother down the street with a huge box of bubble wrap! My cool factor goes down daily from working there! =)

A guy comes in today and asks me how long the wait is, I tell him; then he asks the time, so I turn around and look at the computer. He leaves. Then a co-worker comes in and says he just saw the man steal a golf ball! Ha! I didn’t even notice...not that I care anyway, but I should probably be on the alert more often. I wouldn’t want to pay $3 for a golf ball either. ;)

“Ooh, those rain boots are really cute.” I think to myself. This girl has a really cute pair on—who was she, you ask? Diana DeGarmo—the singer from American Idol. She looks amazing! I don’t even recognize her! Good thing my co-worker points her out because, once again, I’m not paying attention. My mind wanders too much. I need to learn to focus!

Two women walk in and I give my schpeel to them. When I ask where they are from, they say Mexico City, so I say, “Perfect!” Keep in mind, you have to be from the U.S. to sign up (a social security card is required). They say they don’t have a social, so I figure their illegal’s. Okay, go up to the third floor. It’s not until later that I think, maybe Mexico City isn’t in the United States. Yeah, it’s not. It’s definitely in Mexico. I also need to learn my geography!

Then, a tall black man with a grill and blinged out chain walks in with his “posse” and a cameraman. He shakes my hand and tells me he is from MTV. I see the cameraman filming me, so I put on my best smile and energetic attitude. This could be my 15 minutes of fame! It’s Chopper—an up and coming rapper. He looks like Li’l Wayne, but not so little. He is really nice! So, look for me on his soon-to-be-featured reality show! ;)

Note to self: Always look your best. You never know who you’re going to run into. Maybe you shouldn’t wear your hair in a ponytail and sport your glasses on a Friday night at work. Who cares if you are tired and you have a headache. Get over it and always be fabulous! You were being filmed for a reality television show—are you going to be happy with your debut looking the way you do? Hell no! Then when friends ask you to meet them out at a bar after work, you won’t be embarrassed when gorgeous men are all over the place. Who’s going to hit on a girl with glasses, ponytail, and a black jacket with scarf, when there are half-naked women surrounding them? Let’s just say, not many. Damn! Always have a spare glamour look in your over-sized bag!

Day 31

October 7, 2009

I am up early today to get ready for a much-anticipated open call for a serving position. Serendipity, the historic restaurant for Frozen Hot Chocolate, is hiring and my friend tells me I should go. Long story short—the owner was a bitch. She was like the lady on the Maxine greeting cards, looks and all—hates life, so wants everyone else to be miserable. I do not get the job because “I need full commitment.” Apparently going home to see my family for Christmas is unacceptable. She hands me my resume and I leave. Old, haggard, B!

As I am walking, I venture down 5^th Avenue—the most fabulous shopping Mecca in Manhattan; at least in my opinion. I aspire to one day, walk into Cavalli, Gucci, Escada, wherever, and buy anything I want. The glamorous, workingwoman is what I like to call her. I’m walking down 5^th Ave. carrying my $50 Canal Street Chanel tote, thinking I’m hot stuff. After I slap myself across the face and wake up to the reality that everyone on this street knows my bag is a major fake, I start to laugh to myself. Just an FYI, there are four major staples everyone New York woman has: an LV (Louis Vuitton), a shirtdress, costume rings, and tall, flat boots. Can we say, “Daddy I need to borrow your MasterCard.” =) Just kidding.

Work is interesting tonight. A grandma wants to take a picture of me by myself. Okay. Single grandson? Let’s hope so! She is a sweetie! Think back to when you are asked to fill out paperwork. You usually fill out what’s requested, right? I mean, they wouldn’t waste ink if it weren’t necessary. So, when they ask for your social security number and yearly income, don’t look at me funny. Don’t inevitably ask, “Do we really need to fill this out?” No, it’s on their for fun—in hopes to make you laugh. It’s a simple fill-in-the-blanks game. You chose to play, so follow the damn rules!

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE European men! Oh my goodness! There is something about their accent and jeans they wear. The jeans, let me tell you, are the most fabulous fitting, dark-washed denim I have ever seen! When they come up and talk to me, I’m in heaven. You know when they say you can be in a crowded room and not know what anyone else is saying because you are so drawn to one person? That’s what it’s like with me on a daily basis! I probably always look like I’m in la-la land. But I can’t help it. Those dark eyes, tan skin, free flowing hair, and charming personality get me every time!

A guy comes up to me tonight and says, “That’s some John Travolta statue over there. Ya’ know I worked with John Travolta? He’s a great guy…” Then, all I hear is blah, blah, blah…I also know Leo DiCaprio…blah, blah, blah…I also knew Heath Ledger…blah, blah, blah. If you supposedly work with these high-profile celebrities, why are you wearing cinched sweatpants? He tells me he has connections in journalism and asks for my number. I ask who the person is. “Just someone in the industry,” he says. “I’m sorry, but I’m a little hesitant on giving you my number. What if you’re a psycho? I don’t know.” I say to him. Then he goes off on how I need to have faith in humanity and whan, whan, whan! So, I’m supposed to give my number to a man who “knows” all these people—well, sir, that John Travolta statue you were bragging about is actually Arnold Schwarzenegger from the movie Terminator. Why am I going to believe a man who doesn’t know classic movies? You supposedly work with these people!

To make it better, a friend from work recognizes him from the train. This profusely sweaty man approaches him, telling him he should be a model and wants his contact information. My friend, drunk, gives him his card—he gets an e-mail: male foot fetishes. Hmm…can we say weirdo?! To avoid confrontation, I ask for his e-mail. He not only “doesn’t know” his e-mail address, he “only gives it to celebrities.” He says, “How am I suppose to know when I get an e-mail from an Ashley that it’s not Ashley Judd. I’m going to type my e-mail being like, ‘Hey Ash Judd, how’s it goin? And it’s really you.’” Really? Get away from me you over-stuffed Michelin paparazzi man!

Note to self: When the General Manager of your company catches you on your cell phone, make him listen as to why. Don’t let him arrogantly walk away from you and “tattle” on you to your supervisor. YOU’RE THE GENERAL MANAGER! Have the balls to tell your hourly employees yourself! Who the hell do you think you are? Obviously not a good GM—if I had a dollar for every time someone came in asked me where other restaurants are in Times Square, you wouldn’t have to pay me you English prick! Be a man, get over your shit-tastic self, and confront ME with your problem and don’t threaten my job to someone else. And p.s., I was on my phone, Googling an address for one of our guests! British bastard!

Day 29

October 5, 2009

I know you have had those days when you tell yourself, I am not going to forget this. And I'm not going to forget that. Then you do. Well, I usually make notes throughout the day about what I want to blog about. I think about a lot of things, so I tend to forget what happened a few hours prior. Some like to call me scattered brain; I like to think of myself as a constant learner who indulges herself in the world of knowledge and curiosity. =)

Today is a pretty uneventful Monday. I do the usual--apply for jobs, eat lunch, apply for more jobs, and head off to Planet Hollywood. I am so ready for a change and am making it happen as we speak! We do see the rather large black woman from Road Trip that hooks up with the skinny white dude! She was passing out flyers and chocolate candy bars for BET on the street. As we can see, that movie really sparked her career!

I tell some gentleman and his wife, "Goodnight ladies!" His slow-motion turn around and bit of a frowned stare makes me realize he is definitely not a lady! Then, there was this teenage kid, maybe 15 years old. He had to be on something because he was standing in front of our store, dancing, and throwing elbows! Purposely trying to hit people. Then, he would slap every woman's butt that walked by him. With no remorse or second thought! And they would just look at him. I would have smacked that little chocolate, Oompa-Loompa across his fat face!

Besides these points, I honestly cannot remember anything I want to blog about. Give me a bit of a break! I have a lot on my mind. Maybe like, how the heck I'm going to survive out here! The next time you see me, I'm going to be a toothpick because I can't afford the $7 Oreos or the $20 chicken!

Not to self: Apparently donating your eggs is a bad idea. No one cares you can make up to $48,000 this year. All they care about is having no more little Ashley's running around this world. I'm trying to survive here, people! And what's so bad about having mini-me's running around the country?! It will make the world more colorful and cheery! ;) If it weren't for poor, college graduates like myself, the unfortunate people who cannot have children would be screwed! I think it's a gesture that's beneficial to everyone! I could be a stripper...think about it.

Day 15

September 21, 2009

Today's theme: Repetitiveness. I have done and said the same things over and over, all day long. "Hi, I was wondering if you were hiring?" "Hi, yes the third floor." "Where are you guys coming from?" You know those people you just want to muzzle for sounding annoying? I was that person today.

I am so ready for my parents to get here Saturday with my stuff, so I can finally decorate my apartment. I wish I could just "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious" the place, so I wouldn't have to worry about it. Remember when I said my heater is broken? Yeah, it's not. Since my building pays for the heat, they don't turn it on until the temperature reaches 50 degrees outside. I don't think they understand that when it gets below 70 degrees, my body goes into hypothermia! I am always cold, so I guess my frostbitten toes and hands will continue to bundle up, Eskimo-style. ;)

My lifesaver: the Snuggie. That's right, folks. Do you know what I'm talking about? -- A blanket with sleeves. They are hysterical! The commercial highlights the functionalities of being able to lead a normal life, wrapped in a blanket when you're cold. You should look it up! And mine is hot pink! Oh yeah! Thanks grandma! Get Snuggie

I won a contest at work, that I didn't know what going on! I sold the most VISA applications, so I get a free dinner! I love free! I can't wait to try the Captain Crunch coated chicken fingers. Don't they sound delicious? Speaking of sweets--I need to seriously lay off of them! My sweet tooth is getting the best of me, and for fitness and health purposes, I need to stick to naturally sweetened things--apples, oranges, raspberries, etc. I don't think the lemon bars, brownies, or cookies are good for you--I will soon start to look like the fat square bars I continue to shove in my mouth!

Sean Kingston came into work today for a special promotion. Him and his entourage of like three people casually strolled in, thinking they were with P. Diddy or some high-profile celebrity. I think his entourage get the idea that they're more cool than Sean himself. He was pretty nice when he walked by me, so I don't know if I should feel bad that no one really knows who he is when we are promoting he's there, or not. Hmm...yeah, I'm not going to feel bad. Enough people know him for him to make the big bucks, so I'll get over it.

After watching some of the live opera in Times Square broadcasting from The MET and seeing a parade of advertising mascots--Mr. Clean, M&Ms, the French's Mustard bottle, the Vlasik Pickle duck (or whatever that thing is), etc.--I am beat and ready for bed. Good night!

Note to self: "Some days are hopscotch kind of days, some days are getting-nailed-at-dodgeball kind of days." It's from an inspirational thoughts book. I thought it was pretty funny! Everyone has these days--Cindy Brady one day, meets Adam Sandler on the playground, the next day. Isn't it funny how childhood analogies prove to be so true when talking about life? Life should be portrayed looking through a child's eye. Don't sweat the small stuff, laugh, and get along with everyone. It will make your real life "classroom" more enjoyable and less stressful.

Day 14

September 20, 2009

Another beautiful day in the city--fall is kicking in and the weather is delightful. Before work, I decide to go shopping in Herald's Square. I have officially deemed it my go-to shopping source. They have all of the trendy, inexpensive clothing stores--H&M, Forever 21, Zara, The GAP, Ann Taylor Loft, Macy's, etc. The outside sitting area is very quaint, and gives you a sense of relaxation in the big city.

I get a black pencil skirt for work from Forever 21. You can definately tell how stores customize their clothing to fit each location. It's less plain Jane and more eclectically mixed with glamour, rocker, and relaxed chic. I guess you'd have to see it for yourself--I just sound snobby trying to explain it.

As I walk to work, the streets of Times Square seem unusually packed for a Sunday afternoon in September. Why you ask? Because it was "Prayer in Times Square" day today, what else? A day for hundreds of people to shout out, "Thank you Lord, Jesus" as arms flail all around the air--standing in the middle of the street. I have a feeling a lot of people were "saved" today. Or at least pretended so they can get on TV. I will say though, the choir of a hundred or so, who are leading the event, are very talented. They overpower the music our restaurant is blaring into the streets. Don't mess with people and Jesus.

Maybe the man painted in red, wearing a devil mask and tail, carrying a Bible held together with an oversized key, should recognize that. I am shocked he did not get his butt whooped by somebody. I mean, I know we're talking about Jesus and being kind to everyone, but I tell ya' what. Some of those holy rollers, you do NOT want to mess it. It takes guts...lots of guts!

Even better...the naked cowgirl. Oh yes, ladies and gentlemen, she exists. Her "There's Something About Mary" wrinkled, 65-year-old body, dressed in tiny underwear and bra, with fishnets will make anyone stop and stare. Her long, curly locks compliment her blue eye shadow and lipstick that's smeared across half her face. Not to mention, the glitter on her breasts. Sexy. She keeps asking people to take her picture. Sorry grandma, cellulite and sequence just do not mix.

Who says you can't get anything free in NYC? How about FREE HUGS? Just go up to the middle-aged man, wearing black tighty whities and sporting an oddly-grown beard for a photo op. I must say, the cowboy hat is what's making me say, Oh yes! I want a free hug! But if it's free, why does he have dollar bills hanging from his elastic waistband? Those must be some excellent hugs! I might have to see for myself one of these days.

I scared someone tonight. Yup, and all I did, is stand there. By his jump and look of death on his face, you would think I was the Exorcist! He says, Oh my gosh, I didn't see you there. Yeah, okay buddy. Even if you didn't, am I that scary looking, you felt the need to jump ten feet? I'm just going to chalk it up to the fact that he is from England, and so thrown off by my beauty, he can't help but jump for joy! ;)

Speaking of beauty, now that I have managed to eat a third of a box of Cheese Nips, I'm going to bed. Tomorrow is another day! Good night!

Note to self: When you want to and I quote, "protect your personal space and protect yourself from infectious and contagious diseases, such as swine flu," order a "Personal Space Saver." No more having to push your way through crowds--they move around you. This four-inch diameter, metal tutu will make sure everyone steers clear from you. A lady from Russia began this idea, however, the wonder if it would cause more problems than fix, is still there. What happens at the grocery store? Is a game of limbo necessary to get around her, so shopping can continue? Could be fun! Let's think about it!

Day 10

September 16, 2009

My new place does not have Internet yet, so another late blog. But it's worth the wait! Today is move in day! The apartment looks great! Pictures to come later.

Brick roads are charming, but not when you are hauling 70 pounds of luggage behind you. They tend to topple your things over in the middle of the street. Mom and dad sent three boxes that included a blow-up mattress, Dora the Explorer dinnerware, and plastic utensils and cups--not to mention plastic shot glasses! Mom must know I plan on celebrating!

I ask my dad to just pick one of three boxes of clothes and send them. It's getting cold here, so I need some warmer garments. When I open the box, guess what I get? The one box that is full of SUMMER clothes. Damn! Now what am I going to do? I suppose 30 layers of tanks and tees will keep me warm in this 60-degree weather, right?

With no Internet, what am I to do? Um, duh--turn up iTunes and dance the afternoon away while unpacking. So, I'm getting ready to shower and as I am completely naked in the middle of my room, I realize, Ashley, you don't have curtains yet, and your neighbors are right there, where they could possibly see you. Awesome. You bet I make a beeline to the bathroom.

I finally find a place that serves home-style cooking, right down the street. Southern fried chicken fingers and Mac-and-cheese--you can't beat it. While waiting to check out, I hear, "Is there actual pieces of pineapple in here, because if not, I don't know who would eat it...Who would eat fruitcake anyway?" A female worker: "Why don't you go fruitcake yourself somewhere else?" A male worker: "Can you say, get a life?" The best part--he was a short, fat, balding guy in his thirties...named Brett! Spelled with two T's! Ha!

I started Planet Hollywood last night. So much fun! My co-workers are awesome and being able to talk to people from around the world is so interesting. I met people from Brazil, Australia, France, Holland, London, Israel, and so on. My favorite--the French men. Two are very attractive. They walk by me once and stop to talk--they come back around and say they have to walk by me one more time. Walk by all you want--I'm enjoying the view as much as you say you are! ;)

You get to see a lot working in Times Square. The homeless man posted up outside all night just staring into the store--like he is thinking of how to hold the place hostage; a models photo shoot in the middle of the street; and a random, older guy having a dance party with himself and our glass door--stripper style. If you can only imagine. Yeuck! The consensus with my co-workers: "I'm going to go finish being bitter, while this poor excuse for a model is making $250,000 and I'm making minimum wage." =)

By the end of the night, my feet are killing me. I am so ready for bed. Getting back and being in silence was wonderful. So relaxing. Time for bed, another long day awaits.

Note to self: Learn how to say NO! Don't be afraid to hurt people's feelings, because really, who is getting the shitty end of the deal? You are--you don't want to follow through with your commitment anyway. Say NO to the co-worker who swoops his Donald Trump hair from his face, telling you about his weight problem, and then proceeds to ask you to a movie--only to follow with a text message at 2 a.m. reminding you to save his number in your phone. What a hot date this will turn out to be. And say NO to the curly-haired French tourist (different from the cute ones), whom by the way, may or may not be balding on one side of his head, when he asks for your e-mail address. "The next time you come to France, you look me up?" Yeah, maybe in twenty years when it's a feasible time to go. Yeah, don't think so. Be thankful to those who look out for you and come and "save" you from these creepers. And always make a code word or gesture, so they know when to get you out of yet another funk you have managed to get yourself into.