Day 151

February 1, 2010

Whew! 150 days! Some days it feels like 150 days, some days it feels like a week. Regardless, the good, the great, the bad, and the ugly have all been a fantastic whirlwind! So, you know the movie, Elf. If you don't, then stop reading this right now. I think the movie is hilarious! I was walking through the intersection today and wanted to hop scotch my way across like he does in the movie. You know, when he almost gets hit by a car! Too funny! I'm going to do it someday. Someday, when I'm not by myself and pictures can be taken! ;)

Then, I get to thinking. You know how in the movie, he walks into this rinky-dink coffee shop and says, "You did it! Congratulations!" on the world's best cup of coffee. How often do you think tourists come into this city, stop by one of a million pizza places that dubs themselves, "Best Pizza in New York," and actually believe it's the best thing they've ever tasted? Or the "Best Cheesecake" in Times Square. Nope. The best cheesecake is Eileen's in SoHo! ;)

Today would have been my little dog's birthday! Sassafrass would have turned 18 today! Happy Birthday baby girl! An adult! Sadly, we had to put her down in May. One of the worst days of my life. If you've ever had to put a dog to sleep, you understand! It's terrible! It's like losing a sibling or child! She was a little maltese! I want another one! Check it out! It's a maltipoo! When I see them romping around the city, like they're the divas of the city, it makes me miss her so bad! And they wear little outfits like Sassy did! I love it! ;) We had her cremated and she is sitting on our mantle at our house. My dad basically made a shrine in her honor! It's pretty funny! My dad may or may not have loved the dog more than my brother, my mom, and myself! ;) I'm just kidding.

 

So, I decided to Google my family's names today. I know, it sounds weird, but I was curious as to what I would find. 

Brett's name: Of course everything baseball! But I did find this one thing! It's on Rock in Prevention. Read it! It says, and I quote, "Sophomore Brett Toncar remembers Rock in Prevention from his elementary days, and says he now enjoys being a role model." Hahahahaha! Brett would say that. 

Mom, dad, and Tammy's name: Nothing much. Sorry, guys. All I could find was your registration for Race for the Cure back in 2005. ;) Dad's name popped up for FedEx, but says he lives in Memphis, TN. Unless there's two of you, dad, where do you really go to work during the day?! ;) Just kidding! 

Roxana Augustine is apparently some uber-popular German name or something, I don't know about. And my cousin Tyler is not only a pretty kick ass basketball player in New Mexico, but an adult movie star as well! Haha! Not really, but I think it's funny how the two most random occupations have people with the same name.

My name: Well, stuff pops up about my blog, my Google profile, blah, blah, blah. And apparently, my Pandora radio stations are public for all to see. Problem is...some of the radio stations, I don't even know what they are. I have the country stations, but all of the other lovey, dovey song stations? Nope. They left out the best ones! My hip hop stations, the dance music stations! I did come across something really funny from high school. I always tell people, I was never that ditzy high school girl. Well...click on this story and go to page six. It's the story titled, "Tanners Ignore Risks." The minute I see this title, I know this is the quote Google search is looking for. They asked me why I tanned and I reply with, "I tanned because of Winter Formal and I didn't want to look albino." Really, Ashley? Albino? Come on, now. 

I was also looking online at Burberry. Oh, how I love their stuff! Guys...take note! They have their Burberry Heart Collection, just in time for Valentine's Day! Your woman would most definitely LOVE something from here! I would take anything on the list, except the Sling Bag or Nova Heart Purse. Too chotchy for my liking, but whatever. I like how I'm giving men advice on what to buy their loved one on Valentine's Day. Because I'm pretty sure, I will not be getting anything like this on February 14th. Hell, I'm not picky. I'd love a homemade card cut from construction paper! Oh well. There's always next year. ;) 

The restaurant is good tonight! Pretty busy, which is great! Makes the time go by faster! We have the crazy guy, who yells, and points, and is obnoxious about finances in our restaurant. I can't think of his name, nor can I really disclose it, but I can tell you it rhymes with "Bad Honey." ;) He's actually pretty nice, but is so intense about life! It's crazy, but quite amusing! 

So, I have to tell you this really funny story. Maybe it's only funny to me, but whatever. I met this guy and he says to me, "I usually stay away from girls from the Midwest, but you seem alright." Just alright? And I'm suppose to be flattered by this? Oh please, sir, take me out! My response is this: "Oh yeah? Why's that? Do you think we're boring? Well, I usually don't the arrogant, ignorant type, but I guess you seem "alright" as well." Jacko!  Any takers on how long this will last? ;) 

Note to self: When you get an e-mail, telling you about free coffee for the month of February, mark your calendar! Free coffee! What a great day/month in paradise! Check out the site! Different areas of town have their own specific week. My week is February 8th through the 12th! Whew hew! Take advantage of anything free! Especially when there are no catches! However, where I work my internship, the free coffee is going on this week! I'm going to start tomorrow! 41 Bistro Marketplace...here I come! ;) 

Day 139

January 20, 2010

Thank goodness for my mother today, calling to wake me up! Since my phone was still broken, I have no alarm. I wake up this morning to an email that reads, "Put on your 'big girl' panties, and deal with it! Someone will always be prettier. Someone will always be smarter. Some of their houses will be bigger. Some will drive a better car...Look in the mirror in the morning and say, "I am too blessed to be stressed...Winners make things happen. Losers let things happen." Awesome way to start the day! Don't be a loser! ;) Done.

May I make a suggestion next time you go to buy coffee? Add a little cinnamon. To some it may sound weird, but it makes a world of difference! I promise you, you will like it! As my morning continues to go on, I receive quite a few text messages. Of course! I can't read a damn one of them because I can't touch my phone to open it! So...if you sent me a text message yesterday, please send it again, because I was unable to read it! Fantastic. I do; however, get my phone back into working condition by 4:30 this afternoon. Thank God! A part of my life died over the course of 12 hours without it! I live by this stupid thing!

Isn't it crazy how one little piece of machinery has everyone so dependent? It's sickening, really, if you think about it. It was literally driving me crazy today because I didn't know who was texting me. And it's still driving me crazy, because I only figured out who one of the messages was from! My friend, Maddie! I'm helping her with her wedding, which is so much fun! I'm getting so many great ideas for when I get married some day! You can make so many things yourself and save yourself so much money, it's insane!

My future husband is going to be so proud at the money I'll be saving us! ;) And I know what some of you are thinking, (MOM), yeah right! You won't be saving that man any money! Who are you kidding? Am I right? You were totally thinking that! Well...little to your knowledge, after being out in the "real world," which is not that fun sometimes, BTW, I have become quite smart with my money! Ask my brother! He'll tell you I'm the cheapest person alive! ;)

I'm pretty sure I'm one of the only people on this planet who loves Valentine's Day. I've been hearing everyone lately say things along the lines of, "Why do we need a special holiday to celebrate we love each other?" or "V-Day is so corny!" Blah! Blah! Blah! I love it! I think it's so much fun! The cheesy candy, the funny gag gifts, the creative dinner dates! It's all fabulous! I'm such a hopeless romantic, it's nauseating sometimes! ;) I've only had one really memorable Valentine's Day to date and that was back in high school! My boyfriend at the time pulled out all the stops! It was one of those, "follow the note cards" kind of date! So cute! He even had his mom in on it! Kudos to the ex on that one! What are my V-Day plans this year? TBD. ;)

So, there is this website, called www.hopstop.com. I can't remember if I've told you about it or not, but it's fantastic! It's like MapQuest for the subway system in the city! I live by it on a daily basis! I use it to get directions to Fiesta night with the ladies! We go for Mexican food and margaritas to Gonzalez y Gonzalez downtown, either in or near Soho. I'm not quite for sure. It's so good! I tried a passionfruit margarita, which was amazing! Kara tried a blood orange margarita that looked interesting. I forgot to ask if I could try a sip! The service isn't that great--they pretty much forgot about us. But they have this 28-ounce margarita for $20, but you get a keepsake boot! I'm not for sure how much 28 ounces is, but it sounds fabulous! After one of those, I will most definitely be salsa dancing my way across the floor. Maybe with our super hot, super buff, somewhat tan waiter! ;)

Note to self: When you're told not to take the subway passed twelve o'clock, follow this rule of thumb. As you look around, and all you see is one other person, freakishly peeking at you, out of the corner of their eye, you realize you should have listened to everyone! You need to always be aware of your surroundings. When your surroundings are: a.) a quiet subway with no escape; b.) no one within shouting distance; and c.) you clutching your pepper spray, don't freak out! Yeah, this may not be the ideal situation you would want to put yourself in, but you're here, so just pray to God that the one-eyed creepster sitting next to you doesn't move! And pray to God the subway driver moves his butt real quick!

Day 126

January, 7 2010

I wake up this morning, still not feeling well. But I think to myself, I need to have the fresh attitude and outlook on the city, as if I just moved here all over again. I feel like I've started taking the cities little quirks for granted. Things I once found funny, are just now normal. It's not normal a lady pulls out her rather large, professional-looking camera and takes two pictures of me, while I'm walking to work today. Yes...this really did happen. I didn't know whether or not to be like Madonna and "Vogue," or keep walking. Considering I am quite stunned at the fact she would do this and the flash blinded me ever-so-slightly, I continue walking. Why does she want my picture?? I do have a rather cute outfit on today...I bet this is why! ;)

But in all seriousness...I tell myself this morning, no cell phone usage and no iPod usage on the way to work this morning. You are going to pay attention to your surroundings and actually take in all that is going on around you. One problem: there is NOTHING going on around me. Normal people walking to work. I guess all of the weirdos hide out on Thursday mornings. I'm tired of seeing men in suits (okay...maybe not) ;), and women in suits, and people walking their dogs. Whan! Whan! Give me something exciting to jump start my morning!

I only last a block and a half, then I whip out the phone. I don't really have a lot to say or converse about, but it fills my time and I get to catch up with my poor mother who is house-ridden, due to the God-awful snow and weather in Iowa. I get bored so easily with nothing to listen to! I always get irritated with myself about my impatience, but it's something I just can't help. I love talking! I love music! And I love being around people! I have been blessed with the gift of gab! And those of you who know me are probably shaking your heads up and down right now! ;)

So, the last few days I've had a really nervous stomach. I don't know why. But I will tell you, every time in my past, no matter if it was second grade, high school, or college...whenever I get a nervous stomach, something always happens a short time later. I have nothing to be nervous about. Maybe I'm just being paranoid...but we'll see! It could be all of the coffee I've been drinking. My name is Ashley and I'm an addict. =)

I have three cups of coffee today. It's getting bad. Caffeine is like alcohol to me. I get the urge to dance, I think everything is comical, and I get really friendly! It's great! No hangover! Problem is, when I'm sitting in my cube, all by myself, the only thing I can laugh at is me. So, as I'm perusing on the computer for beauty products, random ideas and thoughts pop in my head, and I start laughing out loud to myself. Probably to things that are not in the least bit funny. For example...I'm looking up makeup websites. Literally, after two hours of researching, a site pops up on Google...www.makeup.com. I say out loud, "Hmm...makeup.com. (I shrug ever so slightly) Who would have thought?" Then, I start laughing at the fact of how I can be so dumb that this is not the first thing I thought of. AND, it takes me two hours to discover it! Dummy!

I'm walking home and I always walk down 42nd St. until I reach 8th Avenue. You know the Conde Nast building that was on the news for having a white van sitting in front of it...potentially a bomb? Yeah...I walk by there everyday. Comforting, right? =) I know no one else finds this funny but me. But anyways...right down the street is the heart of Times Square. To the left, there is a large train station. It is CLEAR that's what it is. Look at this picture, here. So, I'm walking and I hear this girl say, "Oh my God! Like, I totally thought that was a Subway restaurant. I mean, who wouldn't think that? With like, all of the eating places around here." Ha! You big dummy! What part of this picture makes you think of footlong sandwiches? Maybe it's just me. ;)

I'm almost done with Eclipse. It's the third book in the Twilight series. It doesn't help I'm a hopeless romantic. Jacob is so great and Edward is even better! They both love the same girl and both are fighting their hardest to get/keep her! Must be nice! To know a guy will do everything in his power to never let you go. Ahhh...that's the life! ;)

My friend, Shelby, calls me tonight. We're talking about relationships and how our friends have been getting married and are getting ready to be married. I say, "One day, a man is going to walk through the doors and be the man of my dreams!" She replies with, "Yes, he's going to be the heir to the Hostess Cupcake throne!" LOL! What?! That's so funny! Of all thrones, I get the HoHo God! Too funny! We then start talking about a college reunion in the next 3-5 years. I find this place today on Vogue.com. Check it out, here! It's in Jackson Hole, Wyoming--in the Grand Teton Mountains. It sounds a little odd, but it looks so beautiful! They have cabins overlooking the mountains, hiking, float trips, etc. What a perfect way to spend with great friends!! Nice and relaxing, but full of crazy potential!

Note to self: Go home, don't turn on the television, and just read in quiet. Reading is such a great way to get your mind off of everything. You never have to really think while reading. You consume yourself with the fictional story so much, that the real world no longer exists for the two or so hours you spend hovered in your bed. It's nice to be in complete silence and not be bored. Weird, right? Considering a few short hours ago I was bouncing home, talking a hundred miles a minute on the phone, with my arms flailing all over the place!

Day 67

November 12, 2009

Okay, well my day starts at 7:30 this morning. It is now 2:03 a.m. and I do not get off work until 1:00 a.m.! What a L.O.N.G. day! I am beat! But I make really good money at coat check. And speaking of which. As a host, I cannot leave until the last coat has been checked back to our guests. The guests, who make me stay TWO HOURS past my end time, tip me NOTHING! WTF?! It's because of your stupid ass that I get out two hours later, and I don't even compensated for it? It's funny because there is only one word that keeps playing over and over and over in my head. F**kers. Ha! That's all I can think of! When you ask me stupid questions like, Oh my God. Like why is the turny door locked? Well, sweetheart. The restaurant closed two hours ago, and the fact that you can't even stand straight because you got too drunk off of your 60-year-old date, please don't start with me. It's not cute. Go smoke your cigarette to curb your appetite!

I have to laugh out loud to myself today at BHG. There is a brand in our books, typed out as, "African-Am Hair Care Products." So, I call the PR agency to see if they still deal with this account. This is how I ask the question, "Hi, my name is Ashley and I'm with Better Homes & Garden http://www.bhg.com/, and I was wondering if you still work with African Hair Care Products?" She replies, "I'm sorry, what company?" I say, "African A.M. Hair Care Products." I literally thought it meant A.M. It is not until about three hours later that I realize the "Am," means American. It's "African American Hair Care Products!" The lady has to think I'm nuts at the PR firm for spelling out Am, as if it were initials! Oh geeze, Ashley!

As I walk to The Capital Grille tonight, I walk past Rockefeller Center. They're putting up the Christmas tree! Oh my gosh! I get so excited!!!! It's going to be so beautiful! And it's huge! I mean, I always knew it was huge from tv, but I'm tellin' ya' what folks...it's absolutely, amazingly large! I tried to get a good picture, but this is the best I can do!

 

So, I know this sounds corny, but I definitely feel official at BHG. I'm in charge of getting products ready for our March issue photo shoot coming up soon. I call the different cosmetic companies and PR agencies and have them send over a specific colored eyeshadow. Watch out for Spring. An "it" color is, in my opinion, surprisingly intriguing, youthful, and edgy! That's not the point. The point is this--look at the picture below!

How cool does this look? My name, plus BHG, on the same label? I love it! I know, I'm nerdy, but hey! It's fun and hopefully someday, I actually get paid to do what I do! ;)

Note to self: Maybe four and a half cups of coffee in one day is a bad idea. Regardless of how tired you are, CLEARLY, your body does not respond at all to caffeine. Could it be because your body already has a high enough dose of energetic chemicals in your system? Or could it be because you are already ADD-like and OCD-like, that the caffeine has an opposite effect? Most people get headaches due to lack of caffeine. I have a massive headache, I think, for too much caffeine.

(The half of a cup is due to a little mishap on my part. When you get free coffee from your apartment building, make sure you find a lid that fits. Going without a lid only causes the coffee to bump up out of your cup, onto the whole lower half of your face, and splash on your favorite scarf. Now...you are a sticky mess! All I'm saying is...make sure it's covered up! That's what she said! Haha! JK mom and dad!)

Day 30

October 6, 2009


I have survived my first month! I don't know how, but I did. I want to thank everyone who follows my blog and I hope you all are enjoying it! Today is a perfect blog to commemorate my first month as a New Yorker!

Everyone says McDonald’s coffee tastes the same, if not better than Starbucks. I take the challenge today and am not impressed with Mickey D’s. First of all, they don’t let you prepare your own coffee. When they ask how many sugars I want, I can’t really say how many (5) because for a small, they’re going to look at me like I’m nuts! And I don’t like cream; I like milk. They suck at preparing my morning caffeine kick!

Which brings me to my next point—who drinks decaf? Honestly, what’s the point? Coffee doesn’t taste that good to where you drink it simply for the taste. You drink it for the caffeine, people! And Mickey D’s caffeine is terrible! An hour later, I was ready to put my head on my desk and catnap. Those beautiful golden arches let me down!

While at work, I stumble across this awesome website! Check it out! It’s so damn funny! It’s just about random conversations bloggers over hear all over the city. Here are a few of my favorites!:

Girlfriend: I just don't get people.

Boyfriend: I love you.

Girlfriend, panicked: No, you don't!

Boyfriend: But I do!

Girlfriend, walking away mumbling: I just do not get people! –Central Park

Taxi driver: Why'd you double park? I'm trying to get through here!

Guy: Why don't you go suck a dick?

--Times Square

Beautiful angry woman on cell: I had told you to meet me at 116th Street because I got my hair in my bag! My weave hair! I had wanted to do my hair later, because it's too damn hot to be sitting up in that place. But I'm not going to no damn barbecue with weave hair in my bag!

--The Bronx

Woman exiting car: There's this bump between my ass and cooch. I think I should get that checked.

--W 4th St

Woman on cell: No! He wants a fight and I'm going to fuck her up! I'm going to snap that bitch in half! (pause) I will snap that bitch in half! (pause) Okay, I love you too. (hangs up) Oh, she messed with the wrong bitch!

--27th St, between 6th and 7th

CLASSIC!

So, a guy stops me in Union Square and asks how much I pay for my haircuts.
Me: $30
Guy: Perfect. I work for a promotions company and we are targeting women (he puts his hands above his head and twirls them around like he’s creating a bun with his hair) for a salon who like to hide their eyes.
Me: I don’t like to hide my eyes.
Guy says arrogantly chuckling: Well, I figured you did because you’re still wearing your sunglasses. (As he gestures putting sunglasses on)

Really? You just said that to me as the sun is shining in your face? Of course I’m wearing my sunglasses you jack! One: to protect my eyes from the rays; and two: to keep creepers like you from stopping me and wasting my time telling me about a deal from an almost-promised janky salon. Sorry if it appears I’m not paying attention…I’m not. I cannot take my focus away from your Austin Powers, yellow-encrusted looking teeth.

My friend and I stop by a stand selling marijuana paraphernalia—“Oh, is this stuff for your weed?” I say aloud. “Ashley, shhhh!!! No!” She points to a sign and reads it, “It’s for tobacco use only.” Okay, whatever. I ask, “Oh, is this an electronic cigarette? I just wrote about these for my job!” They laugh, “Umm…not exactly.” It’s for weed. The guy says laughing, “She doesn’t know. It’s alright sweetheart, you don’t know.” Yeah, apparently I needed to pay closer attention in college when everyone was doing it. Who knew you could put weed in a makeshift cigarette so when driving down the road, no one knows! Clever!

Best part of the day—Max Brenner’s. A restaurant dedicated to chocolate! Oh man! It is sinfully delicious! The ambiance is smooth and cozy, very chocolate-esque! We order the most amazing potato skins I’ve ever tasted. But the best part: dessert! Oh my God is all we can say! I’ve never been at a table of woman who were more quiet! We can’t take our eyes off our plates, or keep the forks out of our mouths!

 

My dessert: Chocolate pizza. Two slices of crispy crust, milk chocolate sauce with creamy peanut butter oozing off the top and sweet bananas scattered all over. I had an orgasm in my mouth! O’Anna’s dessert: Peanut butter crepe. A crepe filled with milk chocolate and peanut butter, accompanied by caramel covered bananas, Dolce de Lecce ice cream and more caramel sauce. Amazing! Kelsey’s dessert: Waffles. Sounds odd, but they were topped with dark chocolate and Dolce de Lecce ice creams, whipped cream, chocolate sauce, and chocolate beans. It is a party in my mouth!

Note to self: Don’t try and crack your neck while walking down the street. When you trip over yourself, let it go. Don’t try and fix it by continuing to crack your neck back and forth—you just look like you have a twitching problem. Then don’t stop in awe when you see The Donut Pub. Although you are amazed, your round ass does not need those sugarcoated circles of delight. Now you simply appear to others as a junk-food fatty with a mild case of turrets.

Day 11

September 17, 2009

I truly believe coffee is what holds New York City together in the morning. Without it, I think this place would go into mayhem. From 9 a.m. until about 11:30 a.m., about six different people ask me if I want coffee. Caffeine = function-ability, people. I grab a complimentary cup from my apartment before leaving for work--although more coffee would be nice, I don't need the extra caffeine. Those who know me are shaking their heads up and down right now, smiling. I know what you're thinking! ;)

You know what else baffles me, yet disgusts me at the same time? How a city, with so many smells, highlights just one: urine. It seems like everywhere I turn today I smell it. It must be the wind kindly blowing the stench in my face. Nothing says good morning like a fresh smelling dose of pee.

Work is great today. A girl that just irritates the hell out of me (and everyone else) is caught plagiarizing her story. Hmm...for someone who was an editor as a publishing company in London, wouldn't you think you would know the definition of this word? I learnt it in third grade. (Social studies assignment: we won't get into it.) All I'm saying is, next time you want to talk to me like I'm an idiot, check yourself, sister. I at least know journalism ethics.

I am finding so many affordable jewelry stores today, it's fabulous. I feel like I died and went to heaven. I don't have time to go in, but I jot down the names and addressed in my handy little notepad I carry with me. If you ever need to know the best place to get chocolate chip cookies, or see the largest U.S. Post Office you've ever seen, just ask me--I have all kinds of stuff in there.

You know how you've seen something 600 times and you tell yourself to make a mental note of where it's at? You actually think you're going to remember. You don't. I am walking around the same two-block radius, about three times because I swear on my life there's a Bank of America here. I lose hope when it comes time for circle number four. I did probably lose about ten pounds though!

Another calm night, but I'm okay with that. You know how long it's been since I've had "me time?" Probably about two years. It's nice to have, at least for a little while. Other than the fact I think my heat is broken. I have never curled up in so tight of a ball as I did last night. I think my leg hair grew ten inches last night. Not really, but I was freezing! It just likes to blow colder air. So, I'm going to go bundle up in my North Face, a scarf, and some pants, and call it a night. Talk to you tomorrow!

Note to self: You know the saying, "Be careful what you wish for?" Believe it. When you need something to happen in your life to tell a story, always be open for whatever is waiting. Like, getting stuck in your apartment's elevator; or being jammed together by two doors that do not seem to care you are trying to walk through them. Your wish may not always be what you expected, but after all, you are the one who "blew out the candles."