Day 301 - Day 302

June 29 - June 30, 2010

I apologize for my late blogging...again...

Tuesday, I didn't do a dang thing. I talked to a friend from back home and then my brother, then went to sleep. I was literally in bed by 9:30! It was fantastic! I caught up on some reading and just relaxed, with my mind not thinking of a thing!

So, I'm talking to my brother and can't believe how lucky the little bastard is. Ugh! If only I had one ounce of that luck. Whatever--I'm not bitter! ;) His internship is amazing! Not that mine wasn't because it was honestly the best thing I could have ever done in my life! I'm so grateful!

So, as you know he went to St. Louis for the summer to learn how to design baseball gloves. Well given that he got all the brains in the family (thanks mom and dad), his designs are now being prototyped for the 2012 season. Yea. I know. I thought the same thing. How freakin' cool, right?!?!

Wednesday was normal. I don't like how "normal" my days are down here. I'm too antsy for my life to be anything but normal. I just want to shake a personality into people down here! Hehe!

I just can't wait to go home! I need a bit of a break and clear my head! I get to be around people who like to joke around and find sarcasm and wit just as much fun as I do! Iowa, here I come! =)

So, I went out to dinner tonight with some co-workers and on the way home, I don't think I've ever been so scared in my life. Minus the many times I rode in my friend, Courtney's car. As you know, when I get nervous, I don't talk. I didn't talk the whole way home!

I was so scared we were going to crash and die! I'm not even kidding. I kept twirling my hair and necklace to try and distract me from our almost veering off the road 12 times, rear-ending about six different cars, and not understanding how the driver doesn't know how to use the breaks! It was awful! I was literally praying to myself in the passenger seat that I get home safely.

I kept looking over and she looked like she was about ready to fall asleep! I wanted to be like, Earth to you! Are you alive?! I am and would like to keep it that way, if at all possible! Scary.

Okay, so I've officially decided that dating here, at least for me, will never be normal. Why do I always have the luck of finding a man that falls in love after a five-second, "hello." I am not even kidding you. The new boy is one of many things:

Foreign: I think straight off the Russian or Italian boat. I can't decide which one.

Can't speak proper English: I get texts that I don't know what the hell they mean! Adjectives and verbs and nouns are in such a crazy order it's like speaking tongue! "I like talk with you. I call you?" Sir, you can call me when you learn how to speak English.

Random texter: "You no date russian man?" Huh? "You number one associate sales in the whole world." Really? Pretty sure I'm NOT a sales associate, but commendable effort! What is happening here?

From now on, when a guy asks for my number, I'm telling him I'm a lesbian. But my luck, the guy will be into that kind of thing, then I'm screwed. How about...I have a boyfriend. Yea...guys don't care. How about...I don't even know. I need help!

I need to become like Lisa Kudrow in P.S. I Love You. "Are you married? Are you gay? Are you working?" Mine will be, "Do you speak English? Are you married? Are you gay? Are you over 30? Do you stalk women? Are you an exaggerated-text machine? Are you normal?"

If you answer: "No. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Of course!" Don't call me!
If you answer: "Yes. Maybe. Maybe. Yes. Yes. Yes. Depends." Then this is typically who's attracted to me.
If you answer: "Yes. No. No. No. No. Depends. Yes." You can call me.

Note to self: "People will forget what you said. People will forget what you did. But people will never forget how you made them feel. No matter where I am or what I am doing...when you come to my mind, it shows on my face."

It's true. I love getting these e-mails! ;)

Day 296

June 24, 2010

Okay, folks. here's the detailed version of the last couple of days.

Tuesday I get my hair cut at the Aveda Institute. I have a really big problem with getting my hair cut by anyone else besides Jan. She's my God when it comes to hair cuts, highlights and waxing. So, I'm skeptical. This is only the SECOND time in, gosh I don't know, 16 years that I've gone elsewhere.

The first time was in Chicago. We got a coupon from our school from a top salon--so I went. It was okay. Now this. Again, okay. But she was a student so I can't be too picky. It took her TWO HOURS to cut my hair! One hour of that was blow drying my hair, which she didn't even complete. I have a ton of hair, so I'm guessing she got bored. I feel ya' sister. My arm gets tired too when I blow dry.

My hair does look nice. I don't want to take credit away from her. But you know when you leave the salon and your head feels like you lost ten pounds? Yeah...I didn't get that feeling. It's okay. At least my ends aren't frazzled beyond recognition! Do you know it had been since Christmas! that I got my haircut! Who am I? I never let that happen! You can only imagine...

Wednesday. Oh Wednesday. Our office took a two and a half hour lunch! Oh yes! It was fantastic! A restaurant we represent is having their grand opening this Saturday, so the beginning of the week was meant for "mock trial" lunches. The food is out of this world! Oh my goodness, it's good!

We ordered six appetizers, each an entree, two glasses of wine each and five desserts! I can't even explain to you! I'll tell you what we ordered:

Appetizers:
Broccoli and cheese pizza: Delectable!
Salmon chips: Chopped salmon on a kettle chip with sauce and capers! Ahhhhh!
Buffalo Calamari: Yes, like the wings! Buffalo sauce over deep-fried calamari! Party in my mouth!
Miso rolls: Grilled fish in a lettuce wrap drizzled with soy/teriyaki sauce. Insane!
Deviled eggs: So good and such a cute idea!
Artichoke: Topped with cheddar and accompanied with sauce. Pretty good!

Entrees:
Lobster club sandwich: That was mine! Words can't even explain! My love for lobster runs deep and I fell in love all over again!
Lobster Cobb Salad: And they chop every little piece of salad goodness for you! Fantastic!
Salmon: So fresh!
Steak: So tender!
Two other salads that I'm not sure what they were, but they looked beautiful!

Desserts: One word. Ahhhhhhhhhleluia!
Key Lime Pie: The BEST key lime pie I've honestly ever tasted!
Peanut butter and jelly donuts: That's right! Peanut butter stuffed donuts with a house-made jam from all the berries! Oh my goodness!
Chocolate Banana Cream Pie: Oreo crust with banana filling yummy! It's absolutely fantastic!
S'Mores Pie: Yea! Served in a mini crock-pot, the warm brownie falls apart in your mouth--which by the way is topped with marshmallows! Ugh! I can't even...
Messy Sundae: The wine glass is dipped in chocolate! Yum-O! Filled with brownie, ice cream and whipped cream. I finished that one for the group! ;) Took one for the team!

So, that was my fantastic afternoon on Wednesday! Jealous? I definitely would be if I was you! I told Roxy that when she gets down here, it's a must-go place!

I worked until about 10:30 last night, then decided to meet someone for a drink. Why not? It's been a long day. We went to the Ale House, which is an awesome place by the way! Like my previous blog states, I just want someone to take me to dinner. Most would find it fantastic that a man wants to take her galavanting across the world. I would love that someday. Not after an hour and a half of casual drinks.

Before asking me to bbq--which by the way, spoke to my heart--I was asked if I had a passport. Of course I do. He tells me he wants to take me to Costa Rica! Do I have "I want to be murdered" written on my forehead? This is a recurring trend with me right now. Is this normal for Florida? God, I hope not!

Then he asks, in a relationship, do I like a man who treats me nice or a man with a lot of money. My thought, Yea, I'm a gold-digger, money-hungry type of gal! Throw in the occasional slap across the face and I think I've got it made. Really? You don't ask someone that.

One good thing: I didn't get offered to meet the parentals, nor did his car break down in the parking lot! So things are looking up! He's a really nice guy, so I'm not going to be too standoff-ish and give it another chance.

All of that food made me so nautious the last couple of days! I think it was too much rich food, ya' know? I had the feeling of a hangover, but obviously wasn't hungover. It was terrible! I still feel yucky, but getting better!

After work, I went to a complimentary pilates class at one of the gyms we represent. I've never taken a pilates class before--it was fun! I want to sign up for a membership and go everyday. And it's a great place to socialize. We had to walk through the basketball and racquetball courts to get to the studio--need I incenuate more? ;) It's funny because my friend gets really nervous around guys and she's the type to trip over herself or run into a piece of string hanging from the ceiling and fall over. She has a boyfriend, but still gets really nervous. It's funny! "Just stare straight ahead," I told her. I did the perusing for both of us.

I finally go to Cannoli Kitchen for dinner! Such a good place! Their pizza selection is out of this world! Have you ever heard of lasagna pizza? Oh yes, they make it! Chicken vodka pizza? I love vodka sauce (no, it's not alcoholic--it's red and white sauce mixed together!) Mmm....I got pasta with a tomato and basil sauce. It was delightful, but really spicy! Cannoli Kitchen is now a go-to place for me!

The Office and 30 Rock was on tonight. So damn funny! 30 Rock makes me miss New York. Everything makes me miss New York! They mentioned "The Spotted Pig" restaurant in the episode tonight. I interviewed to be a hostess there!! But it didn't work out with my hours, so I didn't get the job. It's such a cute place! It's a hole in the wall, the size of my apartment and set on a corner of a cobble-stone street in the West Village. Perfect bbq date night place! Oh man!

So, you know how I can tell who reads my blogs based on city and state? You know how many people from other countries have been reading my blogs lately? I'm talking people from Russia, Italy, Mexico, the U.K., Poland and India...funny huh? I'm international! ;) Just kidding!

I could go on and on today, but this blog is long enough. Have a Happy Friday!

Note to self: I should really probably start thinking about this. I have a lot of little "note to selves" throughout the day, but I always forget them. I suppose the only thing I've got today is this: When trying to impress your attractive neighbor by walking like a hot mama, be careful of stairs. It's never good when you trip going up the stairs as your phone goes smacking into the cement.

P.S. I know how much you love pictures, so I added some from the weekend of the birthday party. Not many, but a few...enjoy! Here!

Day 270 - Day 271

May 30 - May 31, 2010

I hope you had a great Memorial Day weekend! How great was it that we had Monday off?? Definitely nice!

Sunday was good! I worked. Our company had a Mem. Day party with a swimsuit and body painted fashion show! It was really cool! My day started out perfect! I slept in; realized how comfortable my sheets are; and laid there in silence, thinking about nothing!

As I'm getting ready, I receive a text message. Guess who? Yup, my date. I get, "I knew I wasn't good enough....I knew you didn't care about me..." WHAT?! Come on, now. We went on one date. And I don't know what's wrong, but he didn't get it. Instead, he asks me "So, what are we doing tonight?" I respond, "Nothing. I'm working. I don't have time to start something. I'm sorry."

Ten minutes later, I receive this, "So when do you want to come see me?"

Me: "I don't. I don't have time. I'm sorry. If I get a second to breathe from work, I'll text you."

Heard nothing. Until about 11pm. Then I get this, "I have to get a root canal tomorrow at 7am."

At what point do you get brutally honest? I hate being mean. This sucks!

So after the show, we do a celebratory toast with all the girls! This guy decides to butt in and motion me over to him. Sir, I'm in the middle of something! Then, my friend says he's dancing with himself, holding two shots, looking at me. What is up with men down here?!?! Then he followed me for a sec while we walked away. Strange.

Like Greg says, "In New York, you couldn't get a guy to focus on you for a second. Down there, they won't leave you alone!"

I parked on another side of the building Sunday night because I'm afraid that man is going to show up at my door! I know, I'm a weirdo, but so is this guy and I just don't want him sitting on my door step when I get home.

Monday was lax, which is fabulous! I went shopping and bought some stuff, which always makes a girl feel better! And sushi! Oh I love sushi!

So, I'm watching "Kendra" on E! about stripper pole classes. I want to take those SO bad! They look like so much fun!!!! How awesome would it be to know how to slide down a pole? Okay, it sounds bad, but I think I would a ball doing this! And my friends? Forget about it! We would have to video tape it, it would be so flippin' funny! Who needs a pr job when you have enough talent to climb up a pole and swing around it?

Note to self: Never expect to meet someone normal at a bar. Because whenever you meet someone there, they won't leave you alone. Even when you meet someone last night and you receive four text messages in a row at 3:30am, you know you already have a clinger on your hands. Men need to learn boundaries and the proper way to talk to a woman. AND.......when you're "getting to know someone," don't have text conversations! Who does that? Please be a man and pick up the phone and call. Just an FYI to all you men out there. Texting is great, don't get me wrong! I love it! But don't ask a girl on a date over text message. Don't get into serious conversations over text. And don't start fights with them over texts. It's such a chicken shit way out of it. Please mature about it. Then, maybe women would take you more seriously! ;)

Day 267 - 269

May 27 - May 29, 2010

Oh so much to tell! Thursday is a whole story in itself! You'll love this!

So, I met this guy last weekend while I was out. Really attractive, great build, and extremely gentlemen-like (not to mention he's from North Carolina, which means super sexy accent). Perfect! So, we talk throughout the week, blah, blah, blah. By the time our date comes on Thursday, I'm over it. I would just like to say that out of the 135 text messages, 109 were from him. In just three days. Yeah. But I'm trying to not be judgmental, so whatever. Here's the nutshell version (still semi-long):

He picks me up in a brand new BMW! It was beautiful! I thought to myself, Heck yea! I'm going to be the babe in the passenger seat tonight of this fabulous car! We go mini-golfing at the same place Brett and I went. We had a lot of fun! We laughed, we joked, flirted, all the dating kind of stuff. However..................the man is...................just not for me. And I say man, because he's 30 years old.

We're on the 5th hole. We start talking about family and I ask if he gets to go home often. He says his families coming next week. That's so great! He says, "I can't wait until they come. I'm going to have so much fun with them.......No.......WE'RE going to have so much fun with them."

Excuse me.........what?! WE?? No. I'm not meeting the parentals after one date. What do you say to that? I just smile and walk away. Then at about the 15th hole, he tells me the last time he was here, he was with a brunette. Awesome. I don't freakin' care if you were with Giselle Bunchin. You don't tell a girl that on a first date. Really?

So, we leave and go to dinner at J. Alexander's. It's a good place! I compare it to Granite City, which I think is fabulous! He sits on the same side of the booth as me. Not bad, but again, first date. I chalked it up to the fact he was a "southern gentlemen" and maybe that's what they do down here in the south. Yea....no.

After dinner, he drops me off. We end up staying in the parking lot, talking for about an hour. When he goes to leave, his car doesn't start. LOL!!!!! I was dying laughing! He did NOT find it funny! So, we wait a bit. Nothing. Then he can't get it into neutral. Even more funny! The gear shift froze, so his car is chillin' in the middle of my parking lot. We call the BMW helpline.

He says to the lady, "My wife and I were in the car talking, then I had to leave, and now my car won't start." First off, your wife?! What?!?! That is a hell to the freakin' no, sir! Second, you tell a complete stranger you and your "wife" were outside talking, then you have to leave? My first thought, domestic dispute. Not only is a tow truck going to come, but a police officer thinking that I've been beaten or something. Fantastic.

He's pacing back and forth because he is livid! I'm standing by the car, laughing my butt off! He finally gets it in neutral, so we push the dang car. My shoes are falling off, the ground is wet, and we're trying to get this brand-new, stud-of-a-car out of the way. I pull out all my Hercules moves! I think he was impressed.

Then he invites me on a three-day trip to the Bahamas, or a nice weekend get-away to Miami at The Oriental hotel. SIRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!! FIRST DATE! FIRST DATE! FIRST DATE! I'm not getting on a cruise ship with you! I don't want to end up being shark bate! As scary as that is, I don't trust him. Just things he said throughout the night. No. Long story short....the tow truck comes at 3am!!!!!

And, as we're waiting for the tow truck, my uber-hot neighbor comes outside. Go figure. Shirtless. Abs winking at me. Tan. He says hi to me, doesn't look at my date. I say hi back. Unfortunately, I'm not looking at this face because I'm too focused on a.) getting caught by my date, gawking and b.) staring him up and down. I'm sure he thinks I'm a hoochie mama. He sees me with Brett. Sees me with dad (which most people think is my boyfriend, and grosses me out a little bit), then sees me with this guy. Yea...damn.

Friday comes and I am exhausted. I clearly didn't get a ton of sleep the night before, or should I say early morning. I do receive a text from him Friday afternoon, asking if I'm coming over after work. No. What's funny though is he pulled the, "you're already perfect" line on me. Classic. Sir, I know you're kind. I dated one and the only good thing I got from that relationship is this...I know how someone like you works. I know what you're thinking, what your intentions are, and how it would end up. I am no longer able to be fooled by a smooth talker. Thanks, Dick.

Friday night, I go to the club again to promote for the Memorial Day party on Sunday! It's going to be a great time! It was pouring down rain and being an outside club, promoting wasn't that successful. But I met some great people! Socially it's getting so much better for me! I stay after I get off and hang out with a girl from work for a drink with some of her friends. It's such a fun place and the DJs are wonderful!

Saturday = Sushi, Cosmos and Sexy & the City 2! The movie is great and absolutely hysterical! You have to go see it! The fashion is incredible, the story line is pretty good, and the comedy is is so funny! It was just the right amount of over-the-top! It really made me miss New York though. I've really been having NYC withdraws lately. I don't know what it is, but my heart keeps leaning that way. I don't know what's going on, but I would like to know.

Saturday night = absolutely nothing! I went to Target and got some groceries, finally! I bought some Oreos. Enough said. I'm sitting on my couch and NOT moving! This is the first time in a couple of weeks that I don't have to think about work. I'm taking advantage while I can! I absolutely LOVE my job and I'm working really hard to become as great at it as my boss! But everyone needs a mental break from their job every once in a while. I feel like you get more accomplished when you're rested and refreshed!

Note to self: No matter what you decide to do on a Saturday night, just make sure to have fun. Whether it's going out to dinner: splurge on dessert! Or stay in: watch a killer movie! Or go drinking and dancing: make sure you're dance moves are above the rest! And read this joke for a little laughter!

Dr. Oz proclaimed, 'The way to achieve inner peace is to finish
all the things you have started and have never finished.'

So, I looked around my house to see all the things I started and
hadn't finished, and before leaving the house this morning, I finished
off a bottle of White Zinfandel, a bottle of Tequila, a package of
Oreos, the remainder of my old Prozac prescription, the rest of the
cheesecake, some Doritos, and a box of
chocolates. You have no idea how
freaking good I feel right now.