December 14, 2009
Today proves to be a much better day than yesterday. No tears caressing my cheeks, no soaking wet clothes, and no more negative nelly! The morning, however, I can't say is the best. I still wake up in a dramatically bad mood. I am such a drama queen sometimes, I get irritated with myself. I actually think that's the majority of my problem. I realize how ridiculous I am, but by the time I do, I'm already too far into my argument, that I'm so annoyed with my attitude and I don't know how to get out of it. I just need time, I guess. So, I want to apologize to my family, who had to hear me, essentially bitch, yesterday. It was completely unnecessary, but thanks for listening! It helps!
I call my dad. He gives me really good advice, as always, which makes me feel better. Everyone in my family gives me good advice, but as we all know, we take everyone's advice differently. So, now I'm out of my bad mood. Once again, I go to The Capital Grille to work, and I forgot I changed around my schedule with Kara, so I don't work. This is the second time I do this! I guess I love my job so much, I always want to be there! ;) No, it really is a great place to work!
Now, I'm on a mission for a Christmas gift. Every year since I was in the fourth grade, my family and I have done what's called, Secret Santa's. My mom, dad, brother, and I draw a name and we get our "Santa" a $15 gift. Something that's fun. This year, I have a great gift! I obviously can't tell you who I have, but my gift is pretty awesome! And the wrapping...get out of town! It's totally original. So, we all know how I'm the cheapest person alive. I refuse to spend $4 on wrapping paper. So, I use old magazines, and painter's tape (because I don't have regular tape, nor do I want to spend $2 on it at the drugstore), and go to town! Remember in 2nd grade, when you would cut letters out of a magazine and glue them together to make words? Well, that's what I did for my gift tag! Haha! It's awesome! Good idea, huh? I have taken cheap and poor to the extreme. But I like to look at it as creative, not cheap. It's more authentic this way! ;)
My apartment looks fabulous! I cleaned it from top to bottom, all while baking cookies and listening to Pandora Christmas music, of course! Watch out, I'm turning into a real life Suzy Homemaker! Someday, I will make a pretty cool mom and wife! I got the itch for a kid the other day at The Capital Grille. Crazy, right? I was a little petrified myself when the feeling came over me! A family came in and there was about 12 people in their party. They had grandma, grandpa, aunt, uncle, etc. There was a little boy, I'd say about four years old, dressed in a navy blue peacoat, with combed over hair. Oh my God, he was cute! All I could think of was, I want my little boy to look like this when I have one. I fell in love. And he wanted to follow me into the room, so I escorted him. When we got to the room, he looked and me and said, "Thank you, ma'am." Sweet Jesus, melt my heart. Then he introduced himself with his big brown eyes staring right at me as his tiny hand shook mine. I wanted to take him home.
Quickly, the feeling ended when the next family came in and their kids were running all over the place, screaming like maniacs! It was then that I realized, my children will be "those kids" who are holy terrors! I will be blessed with the pleasure of taking care of little heathens! No cute peacoats for them. They will probably want to wear spandex and over sized Teletubbies sweatshirts. ;)
Tomorrow is the massive beauty sale at my internship! I am stocking up and loading up beauty supplies on the cheap! Whew hew! It's Christmas shopping on the fly!
I will have you know, I have not turned on the television once tonight. It's quite nice! I talked with my best guy friend, Greg, tonight. He is so funny, but going through a rough break up right now. I went through the same thing in June as he did, so I can relate to what he's going through. It's no fun. And he is absolutely crazy about this girl. She screwed up a good thing. He is such a great person and she took advantage of that. I don't understand people. Sounds all too familiar to me. Listen to what he did.
He told her he was going to take her to the best restaurant in Salt Lake City (that's where he lives). He turns his apartment into a mini restaurant! He cooks her dinner and even goes into the bathroom to change clothes from a waiter, to her date, to a cook! How sweet is that? And for Christmas...he made her a book of pictures of all of the goofy things they've done together and cool places they've gone! It's great! Only if I can find someone to do nice things like this for me! Some guys don't understand that it's the little things in life that matter. This dinner he made for her is so much better than a fancy shmancy restaurant any where in the world. Take note, fellas!
Note to self: Take negative energy and turn it into something positive. Why waste time on something you know isn't going to work out? Focus your time and energy on what's important in your life right now. You don't get this time back. When you are faced with a challenge, face it with confidence and courage. Don't be afraid to look at the challenge, delete it from your memory, and move on. When someone tells you to forget about it. Forget about it. They're right. The hurt and frustration you're going through isn't worth all the heartache. When you realize you do have so much going for you and there is better out there, take that ammo and push through it. It's not easy, by no means, but it can only make you stronger and make your ambitious drive that much harder. (Thanks dad! ;) )