Day 154

February 4, 2010

First and foremost...CONGRATULATIONS to Shelby for getting a job!!!! Way to go, girl!!! ;)

Back story: New York's sidewalks are covered with God knows what. Spit, pee, gum, puke, whatever. You name it, it's on there. So, I'm walking to work today and take notice that people don't pay attention to where they walk. One guy steps in some sort of liquid...who knows if it's soda, dog pee, human pee. I dodge any form of feces, food (whole or up-chucked), and liquid. I'm not stepping on this stuff and dragging it with me where I go! My apartment does not need human feces hanging out on my rugs! I don't understand how people don't care where they walk! It's gross! I know I look like the neurotic lady who weaves in and out of the sidewalk, but I don't care. I'm not the one who's going to smell like dog crap when I walk into a nice restaurant or store! ;)

I also get to thinking about something else. Do you ever wonder what people are really like outside of the environment you see them in? I do. All the time! I wonder if the handsome gentlemen, with slicked back, beautiful hair, fantastically tailored, trendy suit, and adorable smile is as nice as he seems. It could go either way. He is either A: nice and I'm being really judgmental, or B: arrogant as all get out. The type of guy who is an excellent charmer, but once you're "with him," is a complete jacko. I'm sort of leaning towards letter B. Sad, but oh-so true! If you only saw him. He reminds me of one of those guys you see on CSI: Miami. The uber-professional, who is super sexy, and loves to have a good time.

So, I'm at work tonight and before the guests go to the table, I always say, "Enjoy your evening," or "Enjoy," or something along these lines. A guest comes up and asks where the restroom is. I say, "Follow me this way...It's going to be here on the left. Enjoy!" The cocktail server walks by right then and says, "Did you just tell her to 'enjoy'?"Crap. Yup. Sure did.

When I get home, I hop on Facebook. I feel like I haven't been on in such a long time! I'm out of the loop with everyone! Anyways, I see all these postings on people's statuses about Urbandictionary.com. Apparently, you're supposed to look up your name and copy and paste what your name means in your status. I'm instantly intrigued and curious as to what mine reads. I have such a common name, it could go in any which way! The first one reads, Ashley, 1. "The most beautiful person I've ever met and the love of my life." 2. A young lady who always looks her best. Not many can handle her. (which my family would say is completely true! ;) ) She must always meet expectations and live up to her rightful name of the awesomest person everyone knows." Those are the definitions I will forever live by! ;)

My brother, Brett: "An extremely attractive American male, who is good at everything. Often can be found in beautiful women's beds." Slut. Uh-oh, mom! Maybe you should have "the talk" with your son! ;) It's disgusting how Brett really is good at everything he does. Whatever. I'm not bitter. ;)

My mom, Rhonda: I always tell my mom I see more African American women with her name, Rhonda. You rarely see a white woman named Rhonda. Definition 1: "A strong, opinionated woman who lives for the day." That's nice. Definition 2: "...a thug's best friend!" Hahahaha! I told you, mom! You're so gangster and you don't even know it! ;)

My dad, Robert: "The most incredible guy in the universe, end of story. He isn't concerned with himself at all, but instead concerned with other people. He takes your breathe away and leaves you speechless. And he has a way of making your heart melt like no one else ever will. Robert is so wonderful, it's almost impossible to find the words to match." Oh. My. God. Whan! Whan! This is too funny!!!!

I have a perfect dad. A ghettofied mother. A beautiful, perfect, yet hoochie brother. What a white-house, picket-fence family we are! ;) Try it! Look up your name on Urbandictionary.com! It's hysterical!

So, my New Year's Resolution is to not dwell on the past, remember? Well, what if your past keeps popping up in your face? It just won't go away. What the heck!? Examples: I see a clone of my ex's dad walk into the restaurant with a group of businessmen. My heart sinks. A woman comes up to the host stand, who is identical to a girl I believe my ex cheated on me with--actually, I'm pretty darn sure. I had to do about a quadruple take on her. Again, my heart dropped. Why is this happening to me? Crazy, I know! Then, I get a call tonight and they say, "Do you have a reservation under the last name ..." I don't want to say his name. It's the last name of the guy I dated after my ex. Way too weird. Again, my heart dropped. And it's not necessarily a common last name, either. Life's funny and a true test of strength and character!

That's another thing. Is there such a thing as feeling bad for not caring anymore? Because that's me. Is that possible? I know it sounds crazy, but lately I've come to the realization that I really don't want something anymore, but at the same time, feel bad that I don't really think about it as much as I used to. Is this normal? I have no idea.

Note to self: When you hear about a huge snow storm coming your way, get ready. Don't make plans to go out. Buy some popcorn, maybe a little ice cream, and have a movie night at home. There is no need to get out in something that sounds so horrible! Also, wear rain boots! You don't want to be like the ice-man from the other night, who slipped and fell sideways, on his butt, walking down the sidewalk. Save yourself the embarrassment, hold on to your dignity, and avoid any situations like at all cost! ;)

Day 71

November 16, 2009

I wake up and am completely exhausted! I didn't get a lot of sleep the last few days. Work is crazy today! I did tell you yesterday how awesome I am and today completely solidified this fact. My boss needs to find fashion credits like right now. So, guess what? I searched everywhere and found them. The pages for December can now be printed! Then she tells me how awesome I am. Yeah, yeah I know. I tell myself that every morning when I wake up and look in the mirror. Ooohhh (big stretch). Good morning to me! It's going to be a good day today. Why? Because you're awesome! (as I point to myself in the mirror). =)


Today is the first day I wear heels the whole way to work! It normally takes me about 20 minutes or so to walk there. Today...it takes me nearly 40 minutes! My pace is a bit slower. I don't have the ability to walk over cracks and major hiccups in the world with ease, just yet. I have a couple heel/ankle rolls! Ha! But overall...great success! And my feet don't even hurt!

I have always been one to have the biggest sweet tooth of all time. Whatever has sugar, I'll eat it! A hot dog, a donut, a piece of cheese. Gross! Okay, I don't go that far, but me and sugar are best friends. I can't get enough. And since living out here, it's gotten really bad! I'm starting to wonder if I'm turning diabetic. I cannot go a whole day without having two or three times a day when I need sugar. If you have any advice, please let me know. I feel like a smoker, trying to quit cold turkey! And the thing is...my body doesn't need sugar! I'm already hyper and nuts as it is! Why in the heck would I want to heighten it more? =)

Note to self: Anything you put online, you need to realize that it's now there for the whole world to see...at least some people. Awhile ago I met this ridiculously good looking man here in NYC. He is a British soccer player. Yeah, I'm getting all hot and sweaty just thinking about it too. =) So, I tell my friend, Shelby, about him. I send her a couple of pictures (I know it's weird, but whatever), and the topic of being of the homosexual nature gets brought up. A comment about him potentially liking men was brought up from looking at his pictures. Well, I go on a date with him and he's anything but that. However, when Shelby writes on my wall, "Good thing he's not gay. Hopefully Saturday goes well," I think Britain's babe may or may not have seen it. Why you ask? I haven't heard from him. And I feel terrible! I would be so mad if I looked on his Facebook page and saw, "Hey mate, good thing that girl wasn't a lesbo like you thought."

Day 66

November 11, 2009

Well...as my birthday creeps closer, the less excited I get. I don't want to be 25!!! This means I'm almost 30!!! No. Thank. You. But I still have a week and a half to enjoy being 24. I feel like turning 25 means you are officially an adult and play times over. I'm not ready to grow up! I definitely don't have Michael Jackson Syndrome, but I don't want to give up my youth. So, guess what? I'm not going to.

And what's even better. In NYC, everybody over the age of 25 feels the exact same way I do! It's great! It's like an adult's playground here! A playground where irresponsibility can be blamed on a bad day at work, a heavy consumption of alcohol, or a tragic day where you and your credit card are best friends, but slowly turn into frenemies by the end of the day. Whatever the reason, no one questions it. They just go along with it! Heck, if this is the case, I'm never leaving! A place where excuses are made and your irresponsibilites are justified? Okay!

I get to sleep in today which is nice. Don't you hate it when you have dreams that keep you awake all night long? As much as you try and concentrate on them going away, it keeps you awake that much more! Especially the dreams that seem so real, you wake up and have to really think about it--considering whether or not it really did happen. So, although I get to sleep in, I didn't really get any sleep.

Work is good today. However, when I go to sit someone in a booth, don't ask if you can switch to a table. If I want to sit you at a table, I would. I swear if someone asks me one more time to switch to the opposite seating arrangement, I'm going to scream! Who cares? It's a freakin' table--the food is delicious, you get service with a smile, and you are treated like you're the King of France. Quit complaining! People don't really understand hostesses sit you based on a system. When you change your mind, you mess up our system. Not cool! So, to all of you inconsiderate restaurant-goers...if you want a table or booth, please specify. It's much easier to accommodate you before I take you to a table you decide you don't want.

So, I'm on Facebook tonight and a friend of mine posts a song title. Listen to the song here. It's so sad, but it's so good at the same time! Speaking of friends on Facebook. I think it's so funny when people request to be your friend, when you know they didn't like you in high school. Why do you want to be my friend now? The last time I saw you was probably four years ago. And I was your waitress, where you left me NO tip. Yeah, that's right. I remember things like that! You don't need to know anything about me. All you are is nosey. I don't care about you, so let's not pretend you actually care about what's going on in my life. When I hit, "Reject Friend Request," or whatever it says, don't take that as a hint to ask me again. Just smile and call me what you assume I am, and leave it at that! See you at our ten year reunion! ;) Okay, I know what my mother is thinking right now...honey, they don't have to assume... Thanks mom! I know! ;)

So, I'm watching Nightline and one headline talks about a "Mangagement ring!" I think it's a good idea! Why do the ladies have to wear something on their finger that says they are off the market, but men don't? Not fair! If I'm being taken off the market, not only should my ring be a three karat diamond, Harry Winston, square cut, with smaller diamonds surrounding it (not to get specific), but my man should also have a token of love to show everyone the women of his dreams has him snagged up! ;) Okay, I guess if I get the Harry Winston, he doesn't have to get a mangagement ring. But I just think it's funny this is a hot topic on Nightline!

Note to self: Is it normal that I am almost 25 years old, and men continue to play dating games? If it's normal, I want to be weird! Games are so funny. I know it's assumed to be a part of dating, but come on now. Everyone knows just as well as I do, that it's dumb and just unnecessary! So pointless! I'll admit...I am one of those who likes a challenge, and that's probably immaturity on my part, but maybe, just maybe...if a man would not play games, it would be more attractive to me. If you like someone. You like them. Don't make it a guessing game. Don't call me and leave a message sounding all happy. Then when I can't call you back for three hours, and you text me telling me you're in class, then not call me back. I don't know about you, but I don't know a school that goes until midnight. I'm already over you. Now that I'm typing this, I realize how ridiculous I sound, but I don't care. It's about time I find someone who is actually interested in me and wants to talk to me. I'm done playing games! I did that once before and it turned out Shitty McDitty! I'm a sore loser, so I don't want to lose anymore! I quit! ;) JK!

Day 62

November 7, 2009

It's 44 degrees today. That's the high. Do you really think I'm getting out in this weather? You have got to be crazy, if so! I'm already getting sick again, so for me to adventure into the cold tundra would just be stupid! Instead, I cozy up, with my bottle of Tylenol Cold & Sinus, and relax. It's my hot date for the evening! Sounds exciting, huh? This is what my life has become. TV, a bottle of something, a box of sweets, me, myself, and I...all I need now is a cat and I will officially be "one of those people!" ;)

I am an e-mail junky! Most people say e-mail is better than phone, or vice versa. I not only rely on my phone, but also my e-mail! It has become my life! I am constantly feeling the need to check it--whether it's for work, play, or Facebook. Yes, Facebook. It's crucial now that I'm no longer living in Iowa. It's my tool for keeping in touch with everyone! I have turned into one of those who is constantly on their phone, walking down the street, not only talking on their phone, but checking their e-mail at the same time! When you have so much to do, with so little time, it's great to learn to become an excellent multi-tasker!

I have a guest to my house this evening. My friend O'Anna stops by after her work shift, so we can plan our Christmas party! We are hosting an Ugly Sweater Christmas Party in December at her place in Brooklyn! So exciting! So, I'm not a complete loser today!

Note to self: Always make sure you have snacks and drinks for visitors. When they come over sooner than expected, you need to be ready! Start watching the Food Network more often, so you have the ability to throw something together in a jiffy when your friend says she will be there in 20 minutes. Become a skilled food chopper, baker, steamer, fryer, whatever! Learn how to become Giada, or Sandra Lee, or Rachael Ray. Your friends will appreciate it!