February 4, 2010
First and foremost...CONGRATULATIONS to Shelby for getting a job!!!! Way to go, girl!!! ;)
Back story: New York's sidewalks are covered with God knows what. Spit, pee, gum, puke, whatever. You name it, it's on there. So, I'm walking to work today and take notice that people don't pay attention to where they walk. One guy steps in some sort of liquid...who knows if it's soda, dog pee, human pee. I dodge any form of feces, food (whole or up-chucked), and liquid. I'm not stepping on this stuff and dragging it with me where I go! My apartment does not need human feces hanging out on my rugs! I don't understand how people don't care where they walk! It's gross! I know I look like the neurotic lady who weaves in and out of the sidewalk, but I don't care. I'm not the one who's going to smell like dog crap when I walk into a nice restaurant or store! ;)
I also get to thinking about something else. Do you ever wonder what people are really like outside of the environment you see them in? I do. All the time! I wonder if the handsome gentlemen, with slicked back, beautiful hair, fantastically tailored, trendy suit, and adorable smile is as nice as he seems. It could go either way. He is either A: nice and I'm being really judgmental, or B: arrogant as all get out. The type of guy who is an excellent charmer, but once you're "with him," is a complete jacko. I'm sort of leaning towards letter B. Sad, but oh-so true! If you only saw him. He reminds me of one of those guys you see on CSI: Miami. The uber-professional, who is super sexy, and loves to have a good time.
So, I'm at work tonight and before the guests go to the table, I always say, "Enjoy your evening," or "Enjoy," or something along these lines. A guest comes up and asks where the restroom is. I say, "Follow me this way...It's going to be here on the left. Enjoy!" The cocktail server walks by right then and says, "Did you just tell her to 'enjoy'?"Crap. Yup. Sure did.
When I get home, I hop on Facebook. I feel like I haven't been on in such a long time! I'm out of the loop with everyone! Anyways, I see all these postings on people's statuses about Urbandictionary.com. Apparently, you're supposed to look up your name and copy and paste what your name means in your status. I'm instantly intrigued and curious as to what mine reads. I have such a common name, it could go in any which way! The first one reads, Ashley, 1. "The most beautiful person I've ever met and the love of my life." 2. A young lady who always looks her best. Not many can handle her. (which my family would say is completely true! ;) ) She must always meet expectations and live up to her rightful name of the awesomest person everyone knows." Those are the definitions I will forever live by! ;)
My brother, Brett: "An extremely attractive American male, who is good at everything. Often can be found in beautiful women's beds." Slut. Uh-oh, mom! Maybe you should have "the talk" with your son! ;) It's disgusting how Brett really is good at everything he does. Whatever. I'm not bitter. ;)
My mom, Rhonda: I always tell my mom I see more African American women with her name, Rhonda. You rarely see a white woman named Rhonda. Definition 1: "A strong, opinionated woman who lives for the day." That's nice. Definition 2: "...a thug's best friend!" Hahahaha! I told you, mom! You're so gangster and you don't even know it! ;)
My dad, Robert: "The most incredible guy in the universe, end of story. He isn't concerned with himself at all, but instead concerned with other people. He takes your breathe away and leaves you speechless. And he has a way of making your heart melt like no one else ever will. Robert is so wonderful, it's almost impossible to find the words to match." Oh. My. God. Whan! Whan! This is too funny!!!!
I have a perfect dad. A ghettofied mother. A beautiful, perfect, yet hoochie brother. What a white-house, picket-fence family we are! ;) Try it! Look up your name on Urbandictionary.com! It's hysterical!
So, my New Year's Resolution is to not dwell on the past, remember? Well, what if your past keeps popping up in your face? It just won't go away. What the heck!? Examples: I see a clone of my ex's dad walk into the restaurant with a group of businessmen. My heart sinks. A woman comes up to the host stand, who is identical to a girl I believe my ex cheated on me with--actually, I'm pretty darn sure. I had to do about a quadruple take on her. Again, my heart dropped. Why is this happening to me? Crazy, I know! Then, I get a call tonight and they say, "Do you have a reservation under the last name ..." I don't want to say his name. It's the last name of the guy I dated after my ex. Way too weird. Again, my heart dropped. And it's not necessarily a common last name, either. Life's funny and a true test of strength and character!
That's another thing. Is there such a thing as feeling bad for not caring anymore? Because that's me. Is that possible? I know it sounds crazy, but lately I've come to the realization that I really don't want something anymore, but at the same time, feel bad that I don't really think about it as much as I used to. Is this normal? I have no idea.
Note to self: When you hear about a huge snow storm coming your way, get ready. Don't make plans to go out. Buy some popcorn, maybe a little ice cream, and have a movie night at home. There is no need to get out in something that sounds so horrible! Also, wear rain boots! You don't want to be like the ice-man from the other night, who slipped and fell sideways, on his butt, walking down the sidewalk. Save yourself the embarrassment, hold on to your dignity, and avoid any situations like at all cost! ;)