August 27, 2010
I told you I was sick. I wasn't lying. I have a sinus infection--so says the "doctor" I went to today. Yes, I say "doctor" in quotes because her expertise could definitely be questionable.
I wake up this morning feeling like I got punched in the face by a bodybuilder. My body ached, the back of my neck hurt, behind my eyes hurt, etc. So, I call in sick to work and head to the doctor.
First of all, trying to get a human being on the phone is hard enough, let along trying to find one who speaks decent English. So, I go. I walk in and forget how exciting walk-in clinics are. You have to do everything besides the hokey pokey to get seen by someone.
Since I don't feel good, my attitude and patience are well above normal. I'm standing there and some woman cuts in front of me! There is NO cutting!
Me: I throw my hand on my waist, stick out my hip and give her the look of death.
"Umm...excuse me?!?!"
Her: Typical stare.
Me: "Oh hell no."
Who do you think you are throwing your pink slip on the counter and getting dibs on next in line?? Not with this girl!
So, then they direct me to the counter, where you take a number. Who takes a number? Then, a nurse calls your name to simply see if a doctor will see you, or if you have to come back. I'm thinking to myself, oh it's not going to be good if they tell me I can't be seen today. My phone is dead because AT&T is 100 percent useless, so I can't call to find another clinic. They have to see me.
I'm in talking with the nurse and she says, how do you feel? I explain my symptoms and she says all irritated, "but how do you feel?"
Me: "I feel dandy, lady. Just freakin' dandy! My eyes hurt! My head hurts! My whole face hurts! My body aches!" Come on, lady! When I tell you I can barely keep my eyes open because they hurt so bad, how do you think I feel?"
Okay...I didn't really say that? But that's what went through my head. Why are you going to ask me how I feel after I just told you all of my symptoms? I feel great! I just need some medication to make feel happy and get me through the day. If you can just toss a little somethin'-somethin' in my purse, we can call it a day. Idiot.
They decide to see me. So, then I have to take my number and paper back to the front, fill it out and wait in another line to talk to someone about insurance and what not. Thirty minutes after that, I go turn my papers in and sit and wait again. It's like a three-ring circus!
The waiting room was surprisingly uneventful. I was actually hoping for some exciting things to happen, so I could blog about it. I kept re-playing funny scenarios in my head, but everyone was on their best behavior. Dang.
The nurse calls my name and as she's walking me back to the room she brags to the nurses, "Yeah, I see 18 patients in one hour on busy days." Me (thinking): What?! That seems like a lot of patients at once.
We get into the room and she says, "okay what's wrong?" in a mundane tone. I explain my symptoms and she says, "do you have a history of sinus infection?" I say yes and she proceeds to do the typical tap-on-the-forehead and tap-on-the-cheek tests, along with the throat check. She says, "yep, you have a sinus infection. What do you want?"
Me: "Uhhh....ammoxicillin?" I don't know. Why am I having to prescribe myself? Shoot, if that's the case, give me some Adderall, Vicodin or Percocet. I want the good stuff! ;) I wanted to say, "you're the kind of doctor I talk to reporters about!" Lady, you are crazy! And Florida wonders why people have an RX drug problem. Too many Dr. Feelgoods runnin' around! ;)
Then she says, as she stares into space, "you can take two pills in the morning, afternoon and night." Me (thinking): What?! That's six pills in one day. In the past, I've been told to only take two a day. I have to get out of here before I have to check myself into rehab.
That was my day. Then I just slept, watch television, and now I'm going to sleep some more to get better! Have a great weekend! ;)
Note to self: When trying to get rest, turn off your phone. Why is it that when you're sick or don't feel like talking, that's when everyone decides to text or call you? Just turn it off and don't deal with it! ;)