HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD!!!! Today (Sunday) is my dad's 49th birthday! Next year we're going to party it up! It's crazy he's going to be 50, but he's still so young! Wish I could have been there, dad! Love you tons!
I want to talk to you about Friday evening. For some reason, Florida thinks it's okay to have little critters running around your apartment. Yes, I'm talking about those water-bug/cockroach lookin' things. I go upstairs to go to bed and see one of them run into a pile of my clothes! I throw my phone and keys on my bed and run away! Why would I run away? It's not like the thing is going to chase me and kill me. Oh yea, and I may or may not have let out a tiny scream.
So, I call my dad--he doesn't answer. I call my mom--"Ashley, I'm in Iowa...I can't do anything. You're going to have to take care of it."
Ugh! This is ridiculous and highly revolting! This thing, I'm not kidding, was about three inches long! I kept it for proof because I know people are thinking I'm being an overdramatic, drama queen! Don't laugh! This is serious! So, my mom tells me to get spray cleaner of some kind and spray it to death. Ok. So, I get a broom and my lemony-fresh, foam bathroom cleanser.
I run upstairs and literally leap onto my bed! I don't want that thing touching me! So, I'm on my bed with a broom in one hand, spray can in the other, and mom on speakerphone. I take the end of the broom and start to slowly move my clothes, piece-by-piece out of the way. My hands are shaking, my palms are sweating, and my tummy is like a roller coaster ride! I'm so nervous! The LAST piece of clothing is the one the little bastard was under. I lift my Bebe skirt and there it is--antennas wiggling all over the place.
Mom: "Spray it!"
Me: "NO! It's going to ruin my skirt!"
Mom: "Then move the skirt!"
Me: "NO! Because then it's going to run 50 mph and I can't deal with that!"
Mom: "Then I don't know what to tell you, Ashley."
Me: "What if I lightly cover up the bug with my skirt and stomp it to death? Will the skirt clean?"
Mom: "Yes. Just do that."
So, I go get my tennis shoes on to kill this thing. I slowly cover up the bug, plug my ears and start doing the "Lalalalala" noises so I don't hear the crunch of it dying, while I'm stomping my skirt to death! Sad day because it's such a cute skirt! I uncover and the thing is still slightly moving! These things don't die! WTF?! They're like a cat with nine freakin' lives! So, I stomp it again!
Mom: "Now put it in a plastic cup so you can show your office what you're dealing with."
Me: "How am I suppose to get it in there? I'm not getting that close to that thing!"
Mom: "Ashley! Then I don't know what to tell you."
So, okay fine. I put it in one of those plastic, cream cheese containers and close the lid; but then I hear it's feet or something tapping the sides. Uuggghhh! I throw it across the room. I can't even deal with that. No. Not a chance in hell. So, I pick it up with my dust pan and hold it away from my body like it's going to magically open the lid and jump on me. It was a fiasco! Then, I was so wound up and nervous, I didn't fall asleep until about 3:00am!
Saturday was good. I did a little shopping and then got ready to go to West Palm Beach. We had to do some promoting for work, but decided to hang around and check out the nightlife. I just want to say that WPB is nothing what I expected! You hear West Palm Beach and think money, fancy cars, high class people, etc. Nope.
We eat dinner at Forte Wine Bar. So good! Then the bartender makes us the best mojito I've ever had--for free nonetheless! It was made with Acai berry vodka! Incredible! Doesn't it look phenomenal and beachy?Then we promote the "Hottest Bartender Competition" up and down Clematis, which is apparently the place to go in WPB. Crickets is all we hear! It was dead! Then my friend sees a bar that sells Kava. Kava, you ask? Yea, I didn't know what it was either. This is how it was described to me--marijuana in a glass. Again, what?!?! So, we go in and I ask the owner, so what is this?
Basically, it just has the relaxing effect marijuana has. I don't know. I guess it's really popular, but I've never heard of it. I have to try this and see what it's like. It's completely legal and all-natural. Just like marijuana, I guess--in some parts of the country. Ha! Read the definition here! So, what you do is drink it all at once. They pour a ladle into a little bowl and you just chug it, then eat oranges to get rid of the taste. And the taste.....yuck! So disgusting! But let me tell you. It really did relax me. Crazy!
Then we go to a hookah bar. This place was fun! Minus the lame people, we had a good time! Who goes to a dance club, stands on the dance floor, and doesn't move a muscle? Seriously! That's why they make dive bars! If you're not going to come and dance, or enjoy yourself, go home! Or go somewhere else! This bar was full of the most lame people I've ever seen in my life! They were the types to bump into you and not say excuse me. I'm not okay with these kinds of people. And I don't know who these girls thought they were--they looked like prostitutes.So, we got some hookah and these two guys came over and asked if they could join us. I knew exactly what they were doing, but they sat down anyway. The kid that sat next to me was so coked out, it wasn't even funny. He just sat there and stared. I'm over people like this, nor do I tolerate it anymore.
Me: "You're a man of few words."
Him: "Yea..."
Me: "Um...do you live around here?" I don't know what to say to those who just stare. Awkward.
Him: "Yea..."
Me: "You're really messed up aren't you?"
Him: "Hahaha, yea..."
Me: "Yea, you're pretty lame."
Him: Not a word...lol!
About two minutes later, his friend says, "Oh umm, we're gonna go and uhh..."
Me: "Just go. Get out of here." As I shoo them away with my hand. Lame men.
Sunday is relaxing! I get some errands done and make some pretty darn good cornbread! Then a day filled with movies (yeah, I know shocking for me!) and then a quick trip to the ocean! It's so beautiful and peaceful...I wish I could shack up and live there! ;)
Note to self: What do you do when you have no idea what to do? I don't know, but I wish I knew. Go to the ocean. That's all I've got. For some reason, it seems to have all of the answers. I know I've said you have to make things happen, but what happens if no matter what you do, things work out? It seems like an ideal situation and I'm more fortunate than I could ever say, so I don't want to sound ungrateful. But what if it's not enough? What if you want more? Do you sit back and let it happen this time, or do you make the effort to go after it? It's playing with destiny and fate, so it gets a bit tricky. So much to do in life and so little time.
P.S. I'm not talking about relationships. ;)