December 24, 2009
Today is a pretty awesome day! I come back to Iowa and surprise my family! They have no idea it's coming! Whew hew! Go me! They didn't think I was getting in until tomorrow! My best friend, Maddie, and her fiance come to the airport and pick me up! I fight back the tears of joy when I see them! I am so glad I'm back in Iowa! It's been a long day and all I want to do is see the ones I love most!
I get on the airport bus at 9:00 a.m. this morning. My flight doesn't leave until 2:30 p.m., but I thought I'd be smart and get there early to try and get on an earlier flight. Yeah. Bad idea. Let's just say there was no way these planes prior to mine were taking stand by passengers. They were still trying to get customers on flights cancelled from yesterday. This is another problem. I am not assigned a seat. Apparently, even though I am confirmed on the plane, does not mean I'm guaranteed to get on the flight. WTF? Really?
You should have heard me! I call my grandma because she's the only one who knows I'm coming home today. "This is f-in, bull s**t! If I don't get on this damn plane, I am going to be pissed. They do not want to hear what I have to say." And I went on and on and on. My grandma is probably thinking I'm nuts! I know she does! She tells me, "Ashley, you have to remain calm. You'll get on the flight." I say, "Oh hell yes, they'll get me on the flight!" Grandma, "If they don't, you better raise hell! And if you don't, I'll call United myself!" It's pretty comical how we are yelling at each other about how we're going to yell at United. Haha!
So, I wait. And I wait. And I wait. For five hours until my plane is ready to board. In the mean time, the woman standing behind me decides to blow her nose. It's not a normal blow. The nose blow is a gurgelly, snot blow. I am literally gagging right now. Good thing my backs to her because I may have thrown up on her! Then...the lady behind her was chowing on her apple, with her mouth wide open! I absolutely hate the sound of crunchy things when people are chewing with their mouths open. I don't need to hear you eating! Then...I see an albino, black baby. Yes, they do exist. He has the features of a black baby, his mom is black, and his little black afro was white! It's rather interesting and I am quite intrigued. Yes, I was one of those who stared. I have to figure it out!
Then. My flight gets delayed by an hour. Really? Of course. They say our flight lands in Chicago at 4:52. That's awesome because my flight from Chicago to Des Moines leaves at 4:55. How's that going to work? So, I do get a seat on the plane, thank God! I get on the plane and am setting next to a Jewish boy. I'm sitting there and all of a sudden I hear the clicking sound of a camera. I peak over, out of the corner of my eye, and notice the Yamaka-wearing lad is snapping pictures of me! His camera is tilted my way and I heard him snap it! What a creep! So, I catch him again waiting to snap a picture. So, I push my face back into my neck as hard as I can to create a double-chin and make a semi-unnormal face! Hehe! Take it and enjoy that! ;)
We arrive in Chicago and I book it to my gate. It's really funny because you can totally tell the difference in people leaving NYC and heading to DSM. In New York, people even dress up to go to the airport. I...am one of those people. I want to look nice for everyone! I knew exactly my gate when I am approaching--jeans, sweats, Christmas sweaters, and mullets are everywhere! No heels! No nice hair dos! All backpacks! Welcome home, is what I am thinking! :) Oh, how I missed this place!
I sit next to a Geology major who is studying in Scotland. Can someone please explain to me why every guy I talk to has to stutter? I mean, come on. What are the chances of this actually happening to someone? He stutters the whole time I'm talking with him. Brett from New York stutters too! I have an idea. Let's chalk it up to they are stunned with my beauty and have a hard time talking! Ha! Yeah right. I'm actually going to chalk it up to the fact that I can never meet normal men! ;)
Anyways...he teaches me English verbage and slang, gives me a few pointers on books I should read, and takes me back to high school, (my senior year in particular), and says, "Don't you remember when Dowling beat Southeast Polk your senior year? It's one of the highest scoring football games in Iowa history." Sir. I don't even remember what I did yesterday. How in the heck would I remember a football game from almost seven years ago? I remember high school and I had a blast, but come on now. You remember the score? Okay, so he's a guy and I'm sure it's probably normal, but still. He's also one of those people who laughs at his own jokes, that aren't really funny. However, what I find funny...when I am laughing, he thinks I'm laughing with him. Little does he know, I'm laughing at the fact that I think he is so weird and what he is saying is so random that I'm not surprised I'm sitting next to him, going through this right now. When we're talking about high school, he goes, "Let me guess, you went to Valley." What?! Are you kidding me? Why? Because I'm dressed nice? Because I'm bubbly and perky? Because maybe I have a bit of a personality? "Actually, no." Then I just sit and stare at him. It makes him uncomfortable, of course, which is my point. Ha! Bastard. Don't judge me.
I get home and I walk in. Brett and dad just stare in silence. They are so surprised and shocked to see me that they don't know what to say or do. It's quite funny. Grandma grabs me, while she's crying, and hugs me. I start to cry because I am so relieved and excited to finally be home after four months! Then dad says, "What the hell are you doing here?" then grabs me and gives me a huge hug to where I can't breathe! I walk upstairs to my mom's bedroom because she is bed ridden due to her terrible fall. She just starts balling when she sees me. "I am so glad to see you. I was so scared you weren't going to make it home and my Christmas would be ruined!" So, I start crying! It's a great reunion! I love surprising people! It's so much fun!
We relax, talk, laugh, and just hang out. It's fantastic!
Note to self: Remember that when you leave your place of residence and go to another state, things are different. The New York pace is about a hundred times faster than the Midwest. Remember this. Because when you are the only one in the O'Hare airport, pacing back and forth like a lunatic, looking out the windows, constantly checking the time on your phone, mumbling to yourself that we need to start boarding, etc., people will look at you funny! Remember when you're walking through the malls, people will go slow. It's no marathon like in the city. Take things slow and slow down your life. It's good for you and you will appreciate that you did this when you go back to the fast-paced lifestyle, you now call home.