Happy birthday to Jennifer--my bro's ex-girlfriend! She's still family to us! I cannot believe my brother and his friends are turning 21 years old! I remember when they were twelve years old and irritating as hell! All they were interested in was bothering my friends and I because they thought my friends were hott. Now, they're all really cool and fun to go out with! Too bad my designated drivers are diminishing one by one! Haha, just kidding! I never did that! ;)
So, today. I'm not going to lie. Overall, isn't a great day. Shopping is depressing because I want a Kate Spade handbag, that's on sale, and can't have it. I know what you're thinking...what a spoiled brat! Trust me...I'm thinking the same exact thing! I'm not used to not getting what I want. I am such a spoiled brat, and I throw a tantrum on the phone when I know I can't get it. Again...I know. I just dropped my mouth re-reading this, while shaking my head, realizing how ridiculous I am right now! I'm actually quite embarrassed with myself!
Ugh! I hate weighing my options between a material object and having money for when a friend comes in town. I would much rather have fun with my friend! I know I should be grateful, because having a great friend from home here is way better than a stupid handbag. But considering, I've never had to do this...I don't like it one bit! Welcome to the real world, Ashley! All I keep thinking is...wait until I have kids. Yikes! Then, I really won't get anything I want. Boo to babies, when it comes to that! =)
THEN...I came to the realization that I'm a heffer! Yes, a heffer! Since the summer, I went from a size four, to a size six. Gross! I miss my size four jeans. It's actually really difficult for me to write about this, but whatever. I talk to my mom and grandma, and they tell me my face has gotten, and I quote, "chubby." Ugh! I'm pretty sure my self-confidence went from about an 8 to about a -2. I don't want to be "chubby." Whatever. I do realize that last year, I was a tad on the thin side, due to some high and unneeded stress in my life, but I was happy with my weight. Not so happy with my life, like I am now, but I liked my size four booty! So...I'm bound and determined to get back to that way!
On a lighter note! I get to see the Rockefeller Christmas tree tonight! It's amazingly beautiful! The lights are so bright, and sparkle so pretty in the night sky! Especially the Swarovski crystal star! They have an up-close version you can look at. Amazing is all I can say! Phil says he used his bedazzler at home to make it! Haha! Impressive. I take Phil on a hunt around the city to find the spectacular lights and windows the city has to offer. He's really excited about it! I can see it in his eyes! Ha! Yea right! He secretly enjoyed it! =)
We don't get very far...it's way too cold to wander around a city, where you have no idea where you're going! We travel to Rockefeller Center and on the way, we come across Saks Fifth Avenue. The windows are great, but the best part are the HUGE snowflakes that adorn the whole side of the large building. They flash to the beats and booms to the "Carol of the Bells," Christmas song. Check it out by the Trans Siberian Orchestra! Just click ahead to 40 seconds...that's when it starts getting good! It's a cool light show Saks puts on!
Okay, so I have a funny story, that only some may understand. Mind you...this is the first time Phil and I have been out together just the two of us. A couple from Washington state ask me if I can take their picture in front of the tree. I say sure. So, they hand me their camera and I say, "Okay, one second. Let me just get the tip in a little bit." I'm instantly embarrassed. All I can think of saying is the classic phrase, "That's what she said." Lol! Of course that would come out of my mouth right then, right?
While searching for Carol of the Bells, I stumble across my all-time favorite Christmas song, that translates into a wedding march! "Christmas Canon," also known as "Canon D." It's so pretty and one day (when I do decide to settle down and get married), this is what I'll be marching down to. Hopefully to a live orchestra (focusing on violins, of course!) Yeah, I already told dad to start saving now! Hehe! I get chills every time I hear it. Listen to it here! So, since I'm feeling sorry for myself today, what better way to make your self-esteem go way up, then listen to this song...single...and home alone. =) Lol! It really is beautiful! It gets me excited to come and spend time with family and friends! Can't wait to see everyone!
Note to self: When you ask someone for advice, be 100 percent prepared for their answer! If you're not ready to hear the truth, please, DON'T ASK! Your family is the most brutally honest people in the world...they're not afraid to hurt your feelings. Nor should they be. So when you ask if they can tell you've gained a bit of weight...expect to know what they're going to say. You already know the answer. Why do you need someone to confirm it? Sure...you probably look healthier than last year, but it still really pisses you off to the point where you want to scream. So, buck up, jump on the treadmill, and trim it off!