November 18, 2009
So, I've been considering putting myself on The Today's Show, Ambush Makeover stories. You should see my hair. I try to make it look all Pantene Pro-V-eqsue, but it needs cut so bad, it's starting to look like a bad weave! It's so dry at the ends and the splits are horrendous! I can't afford a hair cut out here and I'm holding out for January, my stylist, back in Iowa! I told her she needs to sharpen those scissors to the hundredth degree. It could get scary! When I walk down the street, I always try and "bounce," so my hair flows nicely in the wind! I'm hoping this distracts people from the nappy tendency my hair is having these days! I probably just look like a woman who walks funny.
I also really enjoy listening to my iPod going to and from work. When it dies, I don't know what to do. I get bored walking to work. Terrible, huh? I can not get from point A to point B without some sort of distraction. That's bad. This is exactly why I don't need sugar in my life. It only intensifies the problem.
Then, I burn my arm last night while cooking my pancakes. It hurts! And it's right at the part of my arm that rests on my computer for typing. Now, my right arm is slightly lifted so I can type without pain. Instead of burning my cakes, I burn my arm! You can't win 'em all!
I don't know about you, but what are your thoughts on The View television show? I'm indifferent about it. I like Elizabeth Hassleback. I know a lot of people don't, but I do. Probably because she's an opinionated, smart ass like myself. Joy Bayher...no thanks! She's cranky and seems unhappy with life. Cheer up, buttercup! Life isn't so bad! Quit trying to be so serious and taking everything so literal! And don't talk simply to hear the sound of your own voice! I don't really want to hear it, so if you could zip it a little more, that would be great! And yes, if I only had the power to make that happen! ;)
Work is work today. I'm getting great eating ideas for when Brett comes! We're both going to gain so much weight, it's not even funny. Well, I know I will. Brett doesn't gain weight! Bastard! Funny story. The other night, I was talking to him on the phone and the Patriots were losing. I'm in the elevator, full of people, and quiet, mind you, when all of a sudden Brett says, "Son of a b**ch! F***er! God d**n it!" etc. etc. Ha! The elevator stayed quiet! I don't know what to do, so I stand there in silence, also--with the phone stuck as close to my ear as possible. Hoping that it caught most of the rant, but as I carefully look around, I see smirks on my fellow neighbor's faces. Not only does my father call one of my neighbors an ass hole as I'm moving in, now my brother is throwing a cussing rant over a football game. Well, there goes any shot of me being someone's Mr. Rogers. No one is going to want to be my neighbor! ;)
Note to self: Never try to understand other people. It's too exhausting and only leads to disappointment or the realization that you're wrong. Nobody likes to be wrong! When they're rude, or obnoxious, or just plain stupid, just let it go. When a strange man laughs at everything you say--even when what you say is nothing remotely close to funny--just laugh along with him. He has no idea how to talk to women, obviously. He's sitting at the bar by himself, making googly eyes at you. Plus, he's about 50. Enough said. When an arrogant business man walks in and treats you like a woman who should bow down to him, just chuckle to yourself and hope he has a small penis! Haha! Whoever marries that man deserves the harsh punishment! ;) Or when that snooty woman walks through your door, think to yourself, is she really happy? Hell, I would be if I was draped in Burberry, carrying a Louis Vuitton, with Christian Louboutin heels! But...money never buys happiness either! Appreciate the respectful, sincere people--money or no money. I've learned, while sitting in my apartment that's ridiculously expensive, money and nice things definitely don't buy happiness. I'm broke! But I'm so happy! Like my dad told me last night, "Just never forget where you came from." I won't! Because I've seen people that do, and it's not good! Plus, how can you forget Iowa? It's nearly impossible!